


Rumour Con

by Spoon888



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, DNA Theft, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gossip Used As A Weapon, Implied Mpreg, Kissing, Lies and Slander, M/M, Public Display of Affection, Rumours, Sleepy Sex, Starscream Takes Things Too Far, Starscream being Starscream, Sticky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-07 11:58:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14670618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888
Summary: Starscream saw an opportunity and he took it.Why exactly is anyone's guess.





	1. Chapter 1

Another day, another foiled plot.

And as per usual, Starscream was to blame.

"It wasn't my fault!" The little fiend screeched, thruster stamping petulantly. "I knew where the drop point was, but those Autobots-!"

" _One_ Autobot!" Megatron thundered, lifting a finger to remind the idiot what 'one' meant. "Just the one, Starscream, and you dumped your load and ran-"

"It was slowing me down!"

Megatron couldn't stand it. He ensnared the coward by the neck, hauling him closer. Starscream's optics widened with alarm, his vocaliser spitting static as he wheezed. "Don't-!"

"What good are you?" Megatron demanded, _this close_ to squeezing. He could feel the quickening pulse of Starscream's fuel pump in the mainline. "A solider who won't stand and fight?"

Starscream's expression twisted. He seized Megatron's wrist and tugged to free himself, "You want a fight?"

"Oh, please." Megatron tightened his fingers, just a warning, but it didn't cow such an unhinged brat as Starscream.

Starscream thrashed, and Megatron's grip loosened for fear of actually throttling the stupid creature. He earned a backhand across the face for his efforts, cheek plate scrapping against Starscream's knuckles.

"How's that for a figh _aHHH_ " Starscream's triumphant declaration broke off into a squawk when Megatron lunged for him. He managed three scrambling steps back before he was caught. Megatron struggled to grapple him into a hold with all his ridiculous squirming, twisting this way and that, thrusters trying to stamp Megatron's pede to shrapnel.

Eventually he had Starscream pinned to his front with one thick arm around the seeker's chest.

Megatron took a wing and pulled downwards, straining the hinges, Starscream flinched, clutching at the arm holding him captive. "Ow!"

"Do you want me to rip it off?!" Megatron snarled in the traitor's audial, mouth brushing armour.

Starscream shook his helm frantically, voice soft with fear, "No. Please Megatron. _Please_ -"

"Ahem."

Megatron looked up. Thundercracker was waiting just inside the command centre's doors, gaze turned downwards.

"What?" Megatron snapped, sparing one last look of disgust at Starscream before finally realising him with a shove. Starscream stumbled away, putting a good chunk of distance between them. A wise decision.

"I apologise for the disturbance, Sir," Thundercracker withdrew a datapad from behind his back, coming closer to extend it to his leader. His optics kept flicking to his trine-leader, who was rubbing at his neck resentfully. "Today's fuel takings."

Megatron took it with a huff, knowing it would be far from bountiful. Thanks to _someone_.

"Leave me." He ordered, and glanced over the top of the datapad at Starscream. "You as well."

Starscream looked mutinous, but was happy enough to be given leave to slink off and lick his wounds -or at least knock out the finger indentations on his wing. Thundercracker hurried after his trine-leader, casting curious looks between them.

Megatron ignored him.

Fragging seekers.

 

* * *

 

"You looked cozy."

Starscream turned at Thundercracker's soft comment, frowning, " _Cozy?!_ "

"With Megatron." Thundercracker was matching his expression, frown disapproving. Like Starscream _chose_ to get into arguments with their bolt-headed moron of a leader.

Starscream ignored him, quickening his pace. His wing was tingling where Megatron had yanked on it. The hinge was probably loose. He'd need to get it looked at now.

"Do upon really think this is a good idea?" Thundercracker called after him.

Exasperated, and utterly confused as to what he was supposedly doing wrong _this_ time, Starscream rolled his optics and stopped. "What?"

"You and Megatron." Thundercracker said. "Together?"

Starscream stared at him.

"I saw you in the command centre," Thundercracker elaborated, pulling a face. "... _Canoodling_."

A horrible nausea rose from Starscream's tank, threatening to overwhelm him if he so much as opened his mouth. He made a muffled noise of disgust, shaking his helm.

Thundercracker thought-? When he'd seen him and Megatron-? He-?

"I mean- not that- I disapprove or anything," Thundercracker backtracked suddenly, misunderstanding the colourful expressions dancing across Starscream's face. "It's great- if it lasts. I mean, of course it will! I'm sure he's- he's great!"

"You think... Megatron and I... are a _couple?!_ " Starscream fought back the horror of it long enough to finally speak.

Thundercracker's fearful grimace relaxed slightly, the stuttering subsiding, "You're not?"

Starscream studied the relief in his expression, and recalculated.

"...I didn't say _that_."

Thundercracker stiffened again, "You're - you won't tell him I said anything will you?"

"I'm sure I can be persuaded to keep your judgemental opinions to myself," Starscream said smoothly, beginning to see an opportunity here, already formulating a plan on how best to utilise such a simple misunderstanding to his advantage.

Cultivating rumours were his speciality, and it was about time he was shown some appreciation and respect around here.

So why not borrow some of Megatron's?

 

* * *

 

Megatron didn't often bother with the mess. He had an energon dispensary in his quarters and it was far more efficient than slumming it down with the grunts. On the odd occasion though, it was worth paying a visit, monitoring his army's general morale, seeing who his soldiers chose to interact with, and gage what was happening in his base behind what reports and status updates could tell him.

When he entered helms lifted with interest. Nothing out of the ordinary. He was their leader and often garnered their attention, today though, instead of nods of deference and lowered gazes, helms bent together at the tables, whispers sounded as he passed. He frowned, optics narrowing.

Even odder was Starscream.

In true Starscream fashion his Second didn't know how to use the furniture. Starscream was sat on top of a far table, legs crossed elegantly at the knee. He was surrounded by a gaggle of seekers, identical faces tilted towards their Commander, optics wide and rapt with attention.

To Megatron's best knowledge Starscream was not popular, neither amongst his own seekers nor anyone else.

Sensing a plot, and marched over.

One of the other seeker's spotted him first, standing quickly and leaning into Starscream. Starscream turned, forced smile held in place, and slipped off the table with a little dismissive wave to his new fans.

"What are you up to?" Megatron demanded when they met in the middle.

Starscream pulled a weird face, like he was repressing a sneer. "You always think the worst of me."

Megatron's optics narrowed. "Am I wrong to?"

With greater self restraint than Megatron would have expected of him, Starscream didn't rise to it. Instead he looked aside, took a deep breath, muttering something that sounded like _can't believe I'm doing this_ , before letting a smile work itself across his face.

Megatron backed away, alarmed.

"It seems I owe you an apology," Starscream stepped closer, and never one to give ground to the likes of Starscream, Megatron held his place, even when the seeker moved close enough that their chests almost brushed. "For my misconduct during the raid." Starscream swallowed, and looked like he was gagging down something unpleasant. "And _after_."

Megatron huffed, and tried not to let how close Starscream was standing bother him, "Your apologies mean very little to me."

"I offered one none the less," Starscream glared at him, and then glanced back to where his hoard of seekers were watching. Megatron watched his expression snap back into a smug little smirk.

He frowned. Deceitful little brat.

"What are doing?" He demanded again, snatching Starscream's wrist so he would turn back around.

If anything, Starscream seemed delighted with his manhandling.

"You're going to scuff my paint." Starscream told him, but he said it with a smile.

This was bizarre. Megatron hauled him in, leaning down for maximum intimidation effect.

"I'll scuff more than just your paint," he snarled, denta bared.

" _Megatron_ ," Starscream cried scandalously, drawing the attention of nearly the entire mess. it wasn't the panicked squeak of a coward terrified of retribution. It was playful, and loud, and undercut with a stifled sort of laugher. "Not _here_."

Megatron released Starscream as though burned, finally relenting and backing off. Starscream only smiled at him, looking like he'd won a battle Megatron hadn't known they were having.

"I will discover what this plot is." He warned.

Starscream arched his brow and twirled off back towards his seekers. The lot of them burst into hushed whispers when Starscream returned, the bright collection of wings animated with their excitement.

Not for the first time, Megatron lamented the bizarre nature of fliers.

 

* * *

 

Things only grew more disconcerting from then on.

Usually when Starscream really got into a scheme he would spend hours squirrelled away in his lab or some secret location off base, but recently Megatron hadn't been able to get shot of him. Starscream was everywhere, always lingering at his side, wing brushing his shoulder. His optics dark and knowing, complimenting a clever little smile.

Megatron ordered Soundwave to check Starscream's lab and the cassettes did a full sweep of his Second's quarters, but they both came back clean. Starscream was being careful, more so than usual. Either that, or he really wasn't up to something.

Megatron didn't know which scenario was more worrisome.

"The flight reports, Lord Megatron," Starscream bent low at the waist to hand him the data-files.

Sat in his throne, Megatron side-eyed him, wondering why Starscream would willingly put himself in Megatron's personal space when it was so easy for his leader to reach up and yank a wing.

He took them wordlessly, tugging when Starscream didn't release immediately and veering back when the seeker leant in with them. He laid a brave servo on Megatron's shoulder with startling familiarity.

"What are you doing now?" Megatron growled lowly, aware that his face was inches from Starscream's.

Starscream smiled, lingering, "Nothing," he said and straightened.

Megatron watched him walk away, scowling. Starscream kept casting him looks over his shoulder as he walked past the groups of mechs working the monitors -none of whom where actually doing their job in light of watching their two leaders.

"What are you looking at?!" Megatron barked, jerking them back into work mode. They swivelled back to their monitors, pretending they hadn't seen anything at all.

Megatron twisted in the spot to ensure Starscream hadn't attached something ridiculous to his armour like a 'kick me' note.

Or a bomb.

 

* * *

 

It was early one morning when the com pinged for Megatron's door. He opened it. And there stood Starscream.

Megatron had once made a conscious decision never to let Starscream into sensitive places he didn't necessarily need access too. His quarters being a prime example of one such place. The only thing worse than getting murdered by his own Second would be getting murdered in his own berth, by that Second.

He gave Starscream a once over, frowning.

Starscream quirked a brow, "Are you going to invite me in?"

"What do you want?" Megatron demanded.

"To be _invited in_ ," Starscream said slowly, like Megatron was an idiot, and before Megatron could stop him, he slipped past.

"If you've come to attack me-" Megatron began, following Starscream before the seeker could get into his personal affects or vandalise his possessions.

"Reports," said Starscream simply, unsubspacing a datapad and dangling it between his digits.

"And it couldn't wait till the bridge?"

"I was being prompt."

Ha. The brat was up to something. Megatron snatched the datapad out of his servo. "Anything else?"

"No," shrugged Starscream, already moving back towards the door, "I'll see you in command, whenever you might manage to finally drag yourself up there..."

He was striding off before Megatron could fire back an equally scathing comment. Or lose his temper. Whichever came easier.

He followed the seeker out into the corridor just to watch the deceitful brat strut away. A group of rank-and-files stood at the other end, patrolling the area. They had slowed their pace at the sight of their leader. Megatron saw their optics flick up the corridor to where Starscream was walking away. Their expression's quizzical.

Megatron snorted and stepped back into his quarters.

 

* * *

 

Of the great many things in the universe that Megatron hated, tardiness frequently made the top ten. It was infuriating in his subordinates, and in himself simply embarrassing. Which was why his patience dwindled with every moment he was becoming ever later for his evening debrief.

That Starscream chose the very same cycle to be just as disgustingly late as he was, could not have been a coincidence.

"The meeting started ten minutes ago," his voice boomed when he discovered Starscream attempting to sneak in ahead of him.

Starscream wasn't the slightest bit unrepentant. Nor surprised to see him.

"...Do you know what hypocrite means?" He asked smugly.

"It's not your place to question me," Megatron reminded him, striding forwards, reaching past where Starscream was inconveniently blocking the door to hit the access panel. Starscream didn't shift aside, but leant in provocatively. Megatron was inches away from just shoving him when his thumb found the open switch and the door slipped open.

An entire room full of Decepticons peered around the doorframe to gawp at them. Starscream's expression shifted into a smirk.

He slipped under Megatron's arm and swanned into the briefing room.

"Sorry we're late," he announced airy, gracing the dumbfounded faces of his faction with a sycophantic smile as he strode the length of the room to take his seat at the head of the table. At Megatron's right.

Megatron didn't miss Starscream's use of 'we're'.

He didn't let it throw him. Whatever manipulations Starscream was playing at it wouldn't do to let himself falter under them. With a moments hesitation, Megatron followed him, glaring when optics tracked his movements across the room.

The meeting proceeded.

The evenings briefing was no more boring than usual, but Megatron found himself having great difficulty concentrating. Perhaps it had something to do with the seeker to his right, watching him, his chin propped against his fist. Megatron glanced sideways at him and glared, a clear warning to cut whatever he was doing out.

The room had gone quiet.

Megatron looked away from where he'd been watching Starscream do something weird with his eyebrows to find Scrapper staring at him, mouth open mid-sentence, the file he was reading limp in his servo. The other faces around the table were watching too.

Megatron's temper brewed.

"Are you finished?" He snapped.

"No, no sir, Scrapper cringed, and lifted his datafile higher so Megatron's view of him was blocked. He continued reading, and when Megatron looked back at Starscream, the seeker was pretending to listen too, mouth curved at the corners.

 

* * *

 

The next incident wasn't so out of character.

Megatron bent over a map, studying the location of Earth's major cities in comparison to it's power stations, looking for vulnerabilities.

The heard the door to the command centre whoosh open behind him and ignored it. The sharp _clack clack clack_ on the floor told him the newcomer was a seeker, and the particular rhythm of it spelt Starscream.

"What is it now?" He asked, hardly bothering it look up.

Four sharp claws dug into the armour between his shoulder blades and scrapped. Megatron arched with a snarl and twisted away. His armour was too thick for Starscream's talons to do any real damage, but-

"You little brat!" He snarled, rolling his shoulder against the sting.

Starscream didn't seem about to attempt a hostile takeover though. He stood in front of Megatron, servos aloft, a repentant and somehow innocent cringe on his face.

"I thought I saw rust!" He exclaimed.

"Did you now?!" Megatron growled, hardly believing him. But why else-?

"I would never intentionally damage you, glorious leader," Starscream cooed, lowering his servos, "Why would I?"

"You're a treacherous snake. Out," he demanded, before he lost his temper and got into a fight with him. He didn't want to damage his best flier so close to a raid. No matter how keen Starscream was on provoking him.

Starscream backed away obediently, servos still aloft, "As you command, mighty Megatron."

Megatron waited until he was out the door, smirk and all, before he relaxed again. His back no longer stung, but a glance over his broad shoulder confirmed he had four long blue paint transfers across his armour. Wonderful. He'd have to find time later to get that removed before someone got the wrong idea and-

It hit him like Astrotrain on his way to a morning refuel, a lightbulb bursting in his processor.

The weird looks, the unnecessary proximity, visiting him in his quarters... Starscream _wanted_ mechs to get the wrong idea.

Megatron's thoughts darkened.

Well, two could play at this game.

 

* * *

 

"That's where the animosity comes from, you see," Starscream was telling his rapt audience in flight-hanger rec, draped over the only couch in the sparse room. The other seven seekers sat and knelt on the floor besides him, curious and sympathetic and completely fooled. "It's not so much that he can't satisfy me, it's that he won't acknowledge my pleasure. He just takes."

The seekers all nodded and murmured their agreement. One even reached to take Starscream's servo, squeezing comfortingly.

Megatron watched Laserbeak's broadcasted footage on a tiny screen in the command centre, and seethed.

"Zoom in on Starscream's face," Megatron snarled into his com, resisting the urge to order Laserbeak to simply swoop down on the Air Command and claw his optics out. Laserbeak obeyed, and Megatron's screen filled with Starscream's smug _lying_ visage.

"-talk to him," one of the seekers -far too invested in his superiors lives in Megatron's opinion- was telling Starscream sagely. "That's the key to healthy 'facing. If you don't open up and communicate-"

Megatron grimaced, and on screen Starscream did too, prising his servo free from his make-shift councillor's. Clearly the joke had run it's course for today.

"Communicate," Starscream rolled his optics, "We're Decepticons, for sparks sake-"

The pickup zoomed out again as Starscream began to move. The seekers scrambled after him, their voices a chorus of questions.

"Wait Commander-?"

"You said you'd tell us-?"

"What about-?"

They followed their Commander out of the rec, beyond Laserbeak's pickup. Megatron's irritation was somewhat muddled by his surprise at how Starscream had somehow been able to wrangle his Air Force using _gossip_ of all things. How desperate was this faction for entertainment?

He leaned into his comm, "Follow him Laserbeak."

 

* * *

 

With just a few short intelligence gathering missions, it became clear to Megatron that it wouldn't be enough to simply cast Starscream's lies off for what they were.

The seeker was clever, and he'd planted the seeds of his deception deep. The rumour of a relationship between them had already run the length of the ship (had likely reached Shockwave on Cybertron as well) and had dealt well with the sceptics who'd questioned the validity of it, the secrecy, the resentful farce they presented.

It didn't take much to convince anyone with a processor that Megatron might be ashamed of such an illicit affair with a subordinate, because that was true at least. Megatron _would_ be ashamed to admit to anyone he had fallen in with such a deplorable creature as Starscream.

And the brat knew it.

  
It took a lot of self-restraint to act as if everything was normal when he next saw Starscream.

He could see the effects of the rumours now though; the curious double takes, the lifting helms, the subtle whispering that came when Starscream entered the same room as him.

"Glorious leader," Starscream purred, coming to stand before the main console besides Megatron.

Megatron's sensors told him he was stood forty two percent closer than he normally would be. If he turned, Starscream's wing would brush his shoulder.

"What inventive scheme against the Autobot's have you concocted today?" Starscream asked. 

He flashed Megatron his most dazzling smile. But of course, they were being watched. Hook was frozen haplessly at his monitor, fingers poised above a button.

"I didn't call you here for that," Megatron revealed, and found pleasure in the unsure way Starscream's smile stiffened. "No, I wanted to speak with you regarding a more private matter."

Megatron checked to be sure they were still being watched. Conversation in the command centre had come to an abrupt end when Starscream had entered, and though no one -asides from Hook- was actively watching them, they were all listening. It was the angle of their helms, their unfocused optics.

They wanted a show.

Megatron was going to give them one.

Starscream laughed nervously.

"Private?" He confirmed, vocaliser a noticeable decimal higher. "...Here?"

"Oh, of course not," Megatron made a point of looking around the heavily populated but eerily silent command centre. A few Decepticons flinched, hunkered down. Hook suddenly started pressing random buttons on his consoles to make it all the more apparent that he wasn't eavesdropping.

"My quarters," he said, brushing Starscream's conveniently positioned wing, "this evening." 

Starscream's optics brightened worrisomely, "Your...?"

Megatron waited for his clever mind to work it out, and he saw it the second it did. Starscream's struck expression morphed into further panic, before darkening in frustration. He knew he'd been found out.

"I can't _wait_ ," Starscream sneered, calling his bluff. And with a boldness Megatron never would have expected him to possess, touched Megatron's forearm. His palm was warm against Megatron's armour, fingers tight with warning. "I'll see you then."

"Yes," Megatron murmured, watching Starscream withdraw slowly, expression challenging, and to their onlookers it must have looked like the weirdest, most stunted conversation two mechs had ever had. "Till then."

Starscream flounced off, somehow making a warning glare look like a sultry gaze, and only once he was out of the door again did mumbled conversation restart. Megatron distinctly heard Acidstorm awkwardly commenting on the lovely weather, despite them being half a mile underwater, in a windowless room.

If Starscream wasn't ready to give up yet, fine. Megatron was ready to give as good as he got.

 

* * *

 

Starscream must have been plotting all cycle because by the time evening refuel came around he was storming through the mess with a purpose, optics incoming missiles targeted straight for Megatron.

"Evening," Megatron lifted his cube to him.

Starscream slipped on to the bench beside him, and Megatron tensed, waiting for an attack. Starscream took stock of the lingering looks they were getting from neighbouring tables, and leaned in.

 _All the way_ in.

"You won't win this." Starscream whispered, lips brushing his audial. Megatron could tell by the tone that he was smiling, making this look like a flirt and not a threat.

He took a sip of his cube, nonchalant, "I assure you, I don't know what you mean."

"You're trying to play me at my own game," Starscream continued to whisper, he touched Megatron lightly on the chest. It was too jarring to think of it as a caress from someone like Starscream. "But you don't have the _bolts_..."

That insinuation struck a nerve in Megatron. Like he was going to let Starscream drag his reputation through the slag and then dare him to do worse. Megatron could do worse.

Megatron turned his helm, and Starscream was still so close their noses almost brushed. He waited, giving Starscream chance to back off, to relent. He didn't. Stubborn, idiotic-

He brushed their lips together. Starcream's optics darkened dangerously.

It was bizarre, ridiculous, the pair of them sat with their optics open and their mouths stiff and unrelenting but touching. It was, by far, the _worst_ kiss Megatron had ever had. And he'd had dalliances with other gladiators.

He arched a brow. Daring Starscream to push it further.

He shouldn't have.

Starscream tilted his helm and actually turned the kiss into some more animated. It took every inch of Megatron's resolve not to flinch away, or grimace, when Starscream's mouth closed over his bottom lip, and sucked.

They were being watched, so he kissed back, trying to spitefully draw a reaction out of Starscream by swiping his glossa past Starscream's lips, as disgustingly wet and invasive as he could make it.

That was the limit it seemed. With a squeak, Starscream flinched back, servo at his mouth to hide a look of revulsion. Wordlessly he stole Megatron's cube and took a bracing gulp, like he was washing away the taste of something unpleasant. 

"Urgh," Starscream slammed what was left of the cube back down and stood. "I will see you tonight." 

Megatron watched him make his quick getaway, his usual strut abandoned in favour of haste. 

He rolled his glossa around his mouth. Starscream's taste lingered but he didn't feel the same desperation to wash it away. 

Perhaps... not the _worst_ kiss he'd ever had.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The aggressively loud hammering occurring on the other side of his door was undoubtably Starscream. Megatron didn't need to check the security feed to know no one else would be stupid or petty enough to not bother with the door chime.

"What?!" He opened the door fast, without warning; and Starscream overbalanced as he aborted another punch intended for the door at last minute.

"You-!" Starscream rightened himself with a stumble, somewhat diminishing the intimidating atmosphere he had clearly been going for. "You go around sticking your glossa down every bot's intake, do you?!"

Megatron propped his shoulder against the doorframe. "Your memory is as selective as usual Starscream. _You_ kissed _me_."

"And then you tried to tongue my voice box!" Starscream snapped, "You're lucky I didn't want your energon in my mouth too or I'd have bitten you!"

"I take it you've learnt your lesson?" Megatron could only assume that's what he'd come for- to admit defeat. Starscream didn't have the conviction to last any campaign, even one as juvenile as this. "If you apologise nicely and retract your baseless lies, I may be convinced to lighten your punishment."

He thought he was being rather generous.

Starscream's face turned a rather interesting shade of purple. He clearly didn't share that opinion.

"This isn't over," he whispered with menace.

Megatron watched him leave, and refused to allow someone as incompetent as Starscream make him feel trepidation.

 

* * *

 

  
In light of Starscream's idiotic refusal to back down, Megatron's first task would be to counter attack the endless rumours his air commander had spread through the faction. To do that, he would need a seeker. Preferably a stupid one.

He couldn't find Skywarp.

Resigned, he went for the next best thing, snagging Thrust by the wing and yanking him from his trine formation not long before the shift change. Thrust wasn't quite as gullible as Skywarp, but he was boastfully loud, careless with sensitive information, and had no inside voice.

Perfect.

Though it had taken some time to reassure the jet that he wasn't going to slag him -as Thrust seemed convinced that being bodily dragged into a deserted meeting room by Megatron spelled imminent violence- a quick spiel about trusting him above all other Decepticons soon had his arrogance winning out over his fear.

Rather like Starscream actually.

"What ever ya need, boss," Thrust placed his fists on his hips and struck a prideful pose, "I'm the mech for the job."

"I don't doubt it." Megatron grumbled wearily, finding it difficult to keep his sarcasm at bay. "I'm sure you've heard the rumours. Myself and your air commander?"

Thrusts mouth opened with obvious eagerness, before the tiny speck of common sense he possessed kicked in. His mouth clacked shut. He stared at Megatron.

"...I do not indulge in rumours." He said mechanically, a phrase clearly coached into him.

Megatron nodded, forcing a look of satisfaction, like he _hadn't_ seen Thrust leaning across the furniture to hear the gossip straight from Starscream's mouth just yesterday. "Regardless. You're an intelligent mech. I'm sure you've heard."

Thrust conceded with an anxious nod, his wings drooping.

"That is not why I summoned you today." Megatron continued, forgetting that he hadn't actually summoned Thrust but rather waited around a dark corner until he was within snatching distance. "Rather, I was hoping to solicit some advice."

"Advice?" Thrust still looked worried. And it was obvious no one had ever asked his opinion on anything before. Megatron wasn't surprised.

"On Starscream."

Thrust's mouth fell into a surprised little 'o'.

"I dunno, boss," he rubbed the back of his helm, "Me and Scream- I mean, _Commander_ Starscream, we don't exactly see optic to optic."

Megatron nodded, and settled himself on the very edge of the meeting table, attempting to shift the atmosphere into something less formal. "Precisely why I chose you and not a member of his trine." He lied, "I'd rather my sharing this not get back to Starscream..."

Thrust's optics were bright with interest. He shuffled forwards on his seat, that same eager movement Megatron had seen the seekers do whenever Starscream spouted some claptrap lie.

Megatron smiled. He couldn't erase Starscream's lies, but he could twist a few to his favour. He was, after all, a skilled propagandist.

 

* * *

 

Starscream had just been about to smear himself in matte black paint transfers -hideous, but necessary in order to counteract any denial on Megatron's part now that he knew- when the door chime was hit several times in quick succession.

Scowling, Starscream shoved the paint under his berth, alongside any other telling evidence, and went to answer it.

His door opened and he was greeted with a furious Thundercracker, an awed Skywarp, and...

" _Sunstorm?_ " Starscream veered back in surprise.

His hesitation was all Thundercracker needed to shove himself past the threshold, dragging Sunstorm behind by the wrist. "Yes, _Sunstorm_. After what I've been hearing, you _need_ religious intervention."

"What-"

"He needs more than Primus," Skywarp warped past them all and landed with a thump on Starscream's berth, making himself at home. "Psychiatric help might be more useful."

"Skywarp, off!" Starscream tried to round him back towards the door, but that only allowed Thundercracker and Sunstorm further into the room. "You, out!" He snapped at Thundercracker, "and _you_!" He sneered at Sunstorm in disgust.

Sunstorm, for his part, looked uncomfortable, "This isn't exactly something worship can fix-"

"He just needs reminding that there is a Hell, and if he doesn't stop, he's going to it," Thundercracker dismissed, steering Sunstorm towards a chair by the desk.

"I'm sure I'll see you there, Thundercracker," Starscream snarled, "Get that _hippie_ out of my quarters and explain yourself before I have Megatron scrap the lot of you!"

Sunstorm stood. "I really don't think-"

Thundercracker pressed down on his shoulders and shoved him back into his seat. "We've _heard_ , Starscream." He said dangerously.

Fear gripped Starscream's spark. Had Megatron swept through the ship like a storm and eradicated all his work so easily? He couldn't have been beaten already. He couldn't.

"Heard what." He enquired, playing ignorant until he knew for sure.

"I'm not repeating it," Thundercracker said stiffly, like he was saving his trine-leader's dignity, "But we know, Starscream, and I don't think-"

Skywarp cut him off laughing, "Everyone's talking about it! No wonder Megatron doesn't advertise your relationship-"

"He doesn't- wait..." Starscream frowned. They still thought he and Megatron were an item. So what was this big secret supposed to be? What could possibly-

Oh no.

"I mean sure, everyone has those weird little kinks," Skywarp was still talking.

"It's unnatural!" Thundercracker snapped, and nudged Sunstorm to get the golden jet to nod in agreement. "You need help-"

"I mean, where do you even _find_ human pornography?" Skywarp asked loudly.

Starscream stared.

"Human **_what?!"_**

 

* * *

 

Megatron sent Laserbeak off on his rounds and was pleased to see the rumour had taken hold so quickly.

Thrust blabbed their conversation to Ramjet not five minutes after leaving his presence. Ramjet had then told the entirety of the wash racks with a few colourful additions for flavour. The rumour had mutated, Megatron was pleased to see, from Starscream having 'performance issues' due to an addiction to pornographic materials, to him having been caught self-serving to _organic_ pornography.

Sometimes, these things just took care of themselves.

"-makes sense now, don't it," Megatron watched the feed of Motormaster and his crew down in the depths of the hull, enthusiastically comparing their versions of the rumour. "Always knew Screamer was glitched..."

"No wonder Boss ain't been able to rev his engine if he's gotten fixed on squishies fraggin," Drag Strip shuddered in revulsion. "That can't be anything pretty-"

Megatron settled back in his seat, content with his work. If this didn't urge Starscream into coming clean about this whole disastrous affair, he didn't know what would.

"This... is a new low."

Starscream's voice made Megatron jump. He hadn't heard the seeker come in. He slapped the monitor off and span in his chair, ignoring how the old metal squealed sharply. He tented his digits menacingly, considering Starscream over the top of them.

"So you've heard?" He let a smile slide across his lips.

Starscream looked one step away from yanking a doomsday device out of his subspace and ending them both right then and there. "How _dare_ -"

"How dare I drag your reputation through the slag?" Megatron lowered his servos to the arm rests, not repentant in the slightest. "I have to say Starscream, they were all very ready to believe it."

"And here I thought you above petty gossip?" Starscream's lip curled.

"You forced my servo, seeker," Megatron said darkly, and lifted his fingers to count. "Inventing a relationship for your own political gain. Slandering my ability to perform in the berth and destroying my reputation as an attentive lover with _more_ than adequately sized equipment-"

"I told them you were quick," Starscream hissed nastily, interrupting him. "Not small. That rumour must have come from elsewhere."

"Silence!" Megatron slammed his fist against the arm rest, leaning forward, "Again I find myself offering you an easy escape. One last chance, Starscream. End these lies and restore _both_ our reputations."

"You still think you can win this?!" Starscream thrust a thumb into his chest. "You're out of your league. I studied at the science academy. Do you have any idea how many students I had expelled? How many professors resigned for fear of scandals?!"

That was a little harrowing to hear actually, but Megatron refused to let that show.

"You may be the better liar, Starscream, but you're still a socially inept coward."

Starscream stared across the command centre at Megatron. His optics dark and dangerous. Megatron shifted back in his seat, waiting for him to make his move.

With a furious noise, Starscream spun on his heel and left.

Megatron was counting that as a win. However briefly he'd be able to relish it. 

 

* * *

 

Megatron didn't see Starscream for the rest of the duty-shift. He decided to take the good fortune for what it was and had a relatively relaxing afternoon for once in his life.

The newest rumour was still in full swing. Megatron passed pairs of mech's tucked into the alcoves of the corridors, snickering to each other. They still stopped and acted bashfully whenever Megatron passed, but their looks had softened with sympathy, in place of their previous amusement.

Megatron didn't care for pity, but it was preferable to the ridicule Starscream would be suffering.

He was just considering his next play against him when he returned to his quarters. He went to enter the access code, only to find the door unlocked.

A break in. He steeled himself and onlined his fusion cannon. Carefully, he opened the door and ducked around the frame. He wasn't greeted with a volley of shots and after a moments consideration, Megatron stuck his helm around the entry way to peer inside.

There was no sign of anything untoward. Starscream didn't appear to be hiding under the berth or behind the furniture, and nothing had been destroyed, ransacked, or otherwise, but that didn't mean it was safe.

With slow cautious steps he moved into the room, being careful not to disturb anything lest it be booby trapped. He scanned for malicious devices, and it came up clear. He scanned again.

Nothing.

Why bother breaking into his quarters if not for a purpose?

Perhaps that had been Starscream's intention? To play on his paranoia. The ball was in the seeker's court so retribution _was_ coming, but it what form? It was impossible to tell with Starscream. He was an unpredictable nightmare.

Deciding to face whatever it would be when it came, Megatron deactivated his cannon and sat on the edge of his berth.

And fell a little heavier than he should have, like some sort of invisible field was pulling him down. He went to shift his weight, only to find he couldn't. He pressed a servo down against the berth to push himself up, but that too became stuck.

Bewildered, Megatron used his other servo to free the first from whatever was glueing it to the berth, but realised too late when that too became stuck, that there was a magnetic current running through the berth.

"Ahem."

Megatron looked towards the quiet noise, and there, right on time, was Starscream.

Thoroughly trapped and unable to raise his fusion cannon, Megatron's fuel pump might have sped up somewhat.

"Starscream!" He barked, thrashing to get free, "This is your doing!"

"Of course it is," Starscream snorted, and boldly strode into the room. "Who else would it be? Soundwave?"

Megatron's pedes were still free, and he was more than ready to kick the scrap out of him should he dare get within striking distance. Starscream was too clever for that though. He stopped someway away from the berth, smirking.

From out of his subspace he pulled a remote, dangling it playfully.

"You're looking a little stuck, mighty Megatron." He gloated, and then with a flick of his thumb, increased the strength of whatever had magnetised both the berth and Megatron. The strength of the field increased till it was threatening to tear the armour off his frame. There was nothing he could do to prevent himself from falling against the berth and being pinned helplessly on his back.

He grit his denta, biting away the sting of humiliation at the position he was in.

"This is it then?" He growled, "I should have known you would resort to such underhanded tactics."

"Oh, stop being so melodramatic, Megatron," he sneered, "I'm not going to kill you. You can thank me later-"

Megatron strained against the magnetisation to lift his helm and glare. "You little-"

Starscream turned it up a little more and Megatron's helm smacked back against the berth with a clang.

"Enough of that now." Starscream cooed, waving the remote back and forth, "Think of this simply as... an example of the Third Law. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and since you've so effectively convinced your loyal lug-headed followers that I'm some sort of debased deviant, it's only fair you're dragged down with me."

Megatron swallowed thickly, "What are you going to do to me, Starscream?"

Starscream laughed humourlessly, and then Megatron heard the crunch of the remote being destroyed. The magnetic field held though. Megatron tried to squirm in discomfort, but he was still pinned.

"Why, I'm going to comm for help, of course."

Megatron mood sunk ever further. As if Starscream getting him into such a ridiculous situation wasn't bad enough, he was going to call witnesses.

"Hook." Megatron heard Starscream speak into his comm. "I require your assistance. Yes. Megatron's quarters."

Megatron hissed through his denta, "Don't you dare twist this-!"

"No, not injured," Starscream smiled joyfully, "Just in spot of bother. He likes being _tied down_ you see..."

"Starscream!" Megatron snarled, his pedes, the only part of him not glued to the berth, kicked against the floor. "Hang up the comm! Now!"

"He's just a little... stuck," Starscream continued, "You'll need to bring a team, if you understand my meaning...

 _Kill_. Megatron was going to kill him. "You'll live to regret this, you-!"

"With the utmost discretion, of course," Starscream purred, ignoring the threats.

He finished the call, and turned to consider Megatron.

"You realise," Megatron began, barely able to keep his voice even for the frustration of his situation. "That as soon as I regain function of my limbs, I'll be liberating you of your wings."

"Another evening perhaps," Starscream shrugged, "As much as I'd love to watch them muddle through deactivating that magnetic field and not getting stuck themselves, I have elsewhere to be."

"I know where you recharge." Megatron reminded him darkly.

"If only I were that easy to find." Starscream smiled, and flounced off.

Megatron stared at the ceiling and despaired. Patient confidentially be damned; Hook's medical team were among some of the worst gossips on the ship.

After all, why else would they end up Decepticons?

 

* * *

 

Starscream didn't do things by half measures.

He made sure to pay Megatron's office a visit as well, stuffing a pair of 'modified for play' stasis cuffs in the middle of a data-pad stack on Megatron's office desk, where Soundwave would be sure to discover them when he came to collect the paperwork.

He had to do what he could before the evening.

It was the end of the week debrief, and sadly, his presence was mandatory. The only excuse Megatron would accept for being absent was being dead, and he'd thus far managed to avoid that as successfully as he had avoided Megatron himself since the magnetic berth incident.

Which he had heard plenty about in the hallways.

Very satisfactory.

Even if Thundercracker did attempt to give him a lecture on safer practices.

Regardless, he'd been enjoying the high of the entire faction thinking he had enough sway over their leader that the old brute would completely and utterly disarm himself for Starscream. It was more than worth having suffered the now almost forgotten rumours regarding his own intimate preferences.

Having the upper-hand had been nice whilst it had lasted.

Now though, it was Megatron's move.

He didn't have to wait long. When the time came and Starscream found himself filing into the war chamber for the debrief with the rest of the extended high command, he paused half way up the table, hesitating over which seat to take.

When suddenly an almighty smack was dealt to his aft.

The sharp clang rang through the war chamber, almost as loud as Starscream's instinctive yelp. His servos flew back to the abused plating and he spun on his heel to find Megatron.

"Starscream," Megatron nodded, all business like, as though he hadn't just swatted his air commander's backside like a rowdy sailor on shoreside leave.

Starscream could already hear the snickers of amusement from their audience.

"Did you just-?"

"Take your seat," Megatron ordered, already casting his optics appraisingly over the rest of his gathered crew.

Too stunned to be angry, Starscream shuffled to obey, giving his abused aft a sympathetic rub as he claimed the only vacant seat left. The one beside Megatron. He had barely sat down when Megatron looped one of his huge arms around the back of his chair.

Starscream stiffened when that arm slivered down to rest across his shoulders.

Megatron was speaking. He'd already begun the meeting. His gaze was focused on one of the datapads in front of him, but the tips of his fingers were lightly tracing up and down the length of Starscream's shoulder vent. Soon they slipped down his back, along seams, until they reached the hinge of his wing.

Starscream stiffened against an instinctive shudder when fingers splayed and Megatron began openly palming at his wing.  
  
He tasted energon, and only then did he realise he'd been biting his glossa to keep from snarling a warning.

Megatron was still leading the meeting as if nothing was going on, tactfully ignoring how the entirety of his crew were just as distracted by what he was doing to Starscream's wing as Starscream himself was.

Then, Megatron pinched the underside of his wing, close to where the sensitive appendage met his lower back, and Starscream reached the limit of what he could take.

He opted for the fight fire with fire approach.

He reached under the desk, between Megatron's obnoxiously spread thighs, and grabbed a handful of what he found there.

A loud bang sounded as Megatron's knee jerked up and hit the table in surprise. Starscream removed himself in a flash, placing his servos together on the table in front of him, not at all bothering to conceal his smile.

The lengthiest silence to have ever occurred in the war chamber proceeded. The collective table stared at them, several mouths were open, Soundwave had his helm hidden in his servos...

Finally, Megatron cleared his vocaliser, his voice an octave higher than it normally would be. "As... I was saying..."

Starscream taped his claws against the table. Just a reminder to Megatron of how sharp they were.

 

* * *

 

"You know, for someone in a pretty wild relationship with ole slagmaker, you spend a lot of time avoiding him."

Skywarp was unexpectedly observant at times. It was not a quality Starscream appreciated.

"I don't flaunt my relationship, like some." Starscream answered, giving Skywarp a pointed look through his protective goggles. "I'm not the attention seeker you are."

Skywarp stared at him in disbelief, before deciding it wasn't worth it and waving a servo, "Whatever. I heard something... weird today, and I gotta ask if it's true."

Starscream paused in his experiment. Carefully, he lowered the beaker full of sulphuric acid. He hadn't spread anything particularly colourful recently, so this would be Megatron's doing. He was surprised it was being brought to his attention so casually though. Rumours were supposed to be things talked about behind the subject's back.

"Go on..." He said carefully.

"So, Acidstorm heard from Rumble, who heard it from Buzzsaw, who heard it from-"

"Spit it out!" Starscream snarled.

"You and Megatron were thinking of making it official?" Skywarp burst out, his optics bright with eagerness.

Starscream lifted the protective goggles from over his optics, "Official?"

"Yeah. Tying the knot. Melding the sparks. Getting hitched-"

"You mean _bonding?!_ " Starscream's spark fell through it's chamber and into his fuel tank. "Megatron and I are _bonding?!_ "

Skywarp looked fearful, "...Did I just ruin a surprise?"

Starscream squeezed the goggles in his servos until they cracked and fell to pieces at the thrusters, his vents heaving.

"I..." Starscream breathed harshly, fighting to keep his voice even, "Am as surprised as you are."

"Oh slag, I-" Skywarp shifted his footing nervously. "Everyone's talking about it? Maybe it's just a rumour?"

"Maybe it is indeed," Starscream snarled. Already trying to concoct something worse. Something to outmanoeuvre Megatron. A rumour bigger than this wouldn't be easy. What was bigger than bonding?

Oh, just one thing.

"You'd act surprised though, wouldn't you?" Skywarp was talking quickly, "if he did ask you? You wouldn't say I told you. Because it was an accident. Just an accident. And-"

"I'm sure he will ask me, Skywarp," Starscream steeled himself, and let a devious smile spread across his face. He pressed his servos to his chest, just to sell it, "You see, it's not just me and him anymore..."

 


	3. Chapter 3

He knew he had taken things too far when the door to his room was blown open with a fusion blast and Megatron was stalking through the burning wreckage with a ominous boom of, " _ **Sparkling?!**_ "

Starscream, who had been in berth asleep until his door had flown across the room and hit the opposite wall, didn't have anything at hand to defend himself with but a few pillows. He threw one -to no avail- and grabbed another to hold out in front of him, as though it's fluffy insulation could deflect whatever Megatron was going to blast across the room next.

"Face me, coward!" Megatron yelled like he thought he was on the battlefield with Prime.

"I..." Starscream peaked out from behind his pillow, wincing at Megatron's heaving shoulders and deranged expression. "You've heard?"

"You've taken this _too far,_ Starscream." Megatron's voice was hoarser than usual and he was waving his arms animatedly. Starscream ducked when the barrel of his fusion canon passed too close by his face. " _Carrying?!_ Just when I thought you couldn't sink lower."

"Why do you think it's a lie?!" Starscream said defensively. Stupidly.

Megatron paused, his look of fury transmuting into an expression of sheer unadulterated terror. "You're not _actually_ -"

"Well, no, but I could have been!" Starscream crossed his arms over his pillow, sticking his nose in the air. "And you yelling at me isn't good for the new-spark-"

"There is no new-spark, Starscream!" Megatron thundered. He slashed a servo through the air, "That is _it_. Game over."

Starscream squashed the pillow in his lap, "You can't-!"

"You're not carrying!" Megatron shouted, hysterical now. "Those blasted idiots are already celebrating! I was congratulated _six_ times on my way here! If you think for one moment I'm letting you drag me into playing the doting sire to your _imaginary_ unborn spawn-"

"I wouldn't have said I was carrying in the first place if you hadn't told everyone we were getting bonded!" Starscream fought back, because before he had taken it too far, Megatron had done it _first_.

"Implying a bonding is _not_ the same as outright claiming to have sparked like a raving lunatic." Megatron snarled, clenching his fists. He took a deep breath, paused.

"But... As deplorable as your actions are, I suppose I should be thankful..."

Starscream didn't deny that it had been a stupid idea, but was confused as to how this could benefit Megatron. "Why?"

"Wiping my servos of you will be so much easier when your barren gestation chamber proves what a graceless liar you are." Megatron's let his fusion canon deactivate with a hum, looking too pleased for Starscream's liking. "I will enjoy watching your _attempts_ at being sparked. Most specifically after I give Hook instructions to examine the precious life you allegedly carry."

Starscream chewed his lip, staring at the berth sheets. He hadn't thought of that...

"You could have backed down," Megatron said from the wrecked doorway, looking back into the room. "You should have."

The rich smugness of his tone only imbrued Starscream with a greater desire to win.

And he would win.  
  


* * *

 

  
Making oneself 'expectant' out of spite might have seemed like the actions of a psychopath to some, but to Starscream, it was a stroke of genius.

It wasn't going to be easy. Carrying had been rare on Cybertron in the best of circumstances, and in war, almost unheard of. Soundwave was an exception, which is why after an afternoon of sulking and six cubes of high grade, Starscream thought it was a good idea to break into Hook's office to steal Soundwave's medical files.

Soundwave's ability to split his spark meant he could have as many of the little pests as he desired, whenever he so chose too. Starscream decided that the simplest solution to his problem so far was to simply... _encourage_ the lieutenant into splitting his spark and presenting the offspring that resulted as his own.

After a good nights sleep and a huge overcharge migraine, Starscream realised there were several problems with this plan. Not counting Soundwave's potential unwillingness to give up a sparkling (despite the small army he had already amassed) but the new-spark wouldn't possess Megatron's coding anyway, and then he'd have to field accusations of being unfaithful.

Which -if they were still in his battle of wills several months down the line- would only serve Megatron as further ammunition.

Fortunately, drunk-Starscream had at least had the foresight to steal Megatron's medical files as well, and though it wasn't the route he had initially desired to take, by the looks of it, a sample of Megatron's coding could come in very handy.

He had set aside the day for theorising artificial conception -something never before achieved, but he was, thankfully, a genius- when a pair of blue wings came barging into his laboratory.

Starscream opened his subspace and swept the mess of experiments off the table into it, just seconds before Thundercracker rounded a blast shield to settle his judgemental gaze on him.

Starscream brushed nonexistent dust away from his now clear workspace, sneering, "Can I help you?"

"So you're carrying?" Thundercracker arched a brow, like a judgmental elder.

Starscream repressed the urge to fidget, and forced out a smug smile, "It would appear so..."

"And you're getting bonded?"

"Yes."

Something about Thundercracker's body language relaxed. He eased off with a satisfied little smile, "Good."

"Good?" Starscream folded his arms across his chest, annoyed that he hadn't managed to annoy his easily annoyed trine-mate, "I thought you disproved of Megatron?"

"I- I never said I-" Thundercracker was caught between discomfort and frustration. "Maybe I didn't approve, at first, but now that you're settling down-"

"Settling!?" Starscream spat with revulsion.. "I am not 'settling down', Thundercracker."

"Really?" Thundercracker frowned, "Megatron made the announcement about your early retirement at the morning brief. How you've found your true calling in being a carrier."

"Oh... _yes_ ," Starscream could feel his optic twitching with the effort it took not to blow up at the insulting implication. "That sounds _exactly_ like something I would say."

"No more plots or assassination attempts then?" Thundercracker sounded relieved. "I always knew it was just a phase."

"Yes," Starscream agreed vacantly, thinking of all the unpleasant things he could do to Megatron's fuel when he wasn't looking. "Apparently, my ambition in life is to be a mate, and a carrier..."

"When are you bonding, anyway?" Thundercracker asked, genuinely interested. He probably wanted to mark it down on his calendar and count it down. ' _Days till I don't have to deal with Starscream anymore_.'

Well, he wouldn't have to wait long. Starscream thought, looking up at Thundercracker and seeing his opportunity for revenge.

"Oh," he smiled, "Very soon..."

 

* * *

 

  
Starscream set the date just one week from now. The third day of the next lunar cycle.

Megatron knew acting anything but utterly unbothered by that fact would give Starscream the upper-hand. His attempts at feigning confusion over which lunar cycle in order to buy himself another month of time failed miserably.

He had no choice but to watch his usually sensible and profession airforce titter around the base making bunting and hanging it impractically low.

Astrotrain was having to go through surgery to get the slagging stuff out of his air vents.

Attempts at revenge in the form of harassing Starscream in public were thwarted by the seeker's uncharacteristic absence from the all the excitement. It was likely he was just avoiding the bunting and his comrade's over eager attempts at listening to the non existent new-spark's spark beat by holing himself up in his lab, but Megatron couldn't help his suspicions.

"Boss!" Frenzy came bounding up to him on the command centre.

Megatron inclined his helm to see the little cassette dragging two long strings of bunting, one red and white, the other purple and black.

"They're gettin' into an argument about the colour theme." Frenzy explained, and lifted the options. "The purple's official but Screamer says it clashes with his bodywork-"

"The purple." Megatron decided, for that reason alone. He stopped Frenzy before he could run off again by stepping on the end of the bunting string. "Starscream's about, is he?"

"Yeah, they're discussing names in the flight hanger," Frenzy nodded.

Sparkling names; Megatron filled in for himself. He nodded stiffly and let Frenzy go before he lost his temper in front of him.

It was time to end this. If he saw one more string of burning he was going. To. Scream.

"Hook." He opened his comm and hailed the medic. "If you're done patching Astrotrain, I have another patient for you."

 

* * *

 

Pretending to be sparked was an easier job than Starscream had anticipated.

Arcane programming encouraged co-parenting on a broader scale in seekers than it did any other frame-type. Normally the protocols only activated in those closest to the carrying mech -the trine- but wartime had enclosed a lot of seekers in a much smaller place, and despite not actually carrying a sparkling, simply implying that he was, was enough to throw every last one of his airforce into their subconscious sparkling protocols with hurricane speed.

Normally, he'd be annoyed with the fussing, but reclining on the couch they'd moved into the mess, surrounded by every pillow existing on base, Ramjet diligently fanning him, Acidstorm rubbing his pedes, and every other loser with wings running about trying to find him the cooper flavoured energon goodies he'd asked for, he decided it wasn't so bad.

"What about something traditional?" Said a random black seeker whose designation Starscream couldn't be bothered to recall. "Like Skywing? Or Thunderstorm?"

Truly awful names, Starscream sneered. "I'm not naming it _Thunderstorm_. Think for once, would you?"

Undeterred by his nastiness, they continued exuberantly. Icefire. Jetwing. Hailmaker. Sunmark. None of them decent enough for even an imaginary sparkling. At this point, Starscream had another reason to be thankful for not actually carrying.

Skywarp's suggestion of 'Snowball' was by far the worst, though Ramjet's 'Megatron Jr' did get him sent from the room.

"What does Megatron think?" Thundercracker asked as they watched a dejected Ramjet leave. Unlike his brethren, he was making little effort to pamper his trine-leader.

Starscream squinted at his question, "Huh?"

"The designation?" Thundercracker arched a brow. "Isn't he going to want some say in what his heir is called?"

Starscream waved him off, "Oh, he doesn't mind. He said I can call it whatever I want."

Thundercracker rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "That doesn't _sound_ like him..."

"Where are my energon goodies!" Starscream interrupted loudly before he could start thinking too much. "Do you idiots want this new-spark to starve?!"

The layabouts doing nothing quickly scurried to satisfy him, but Thundercracker was still eyeing him with a certain level of suspicion. He glared back, wondering why his trine were being so troublesome in his time of need when logic dictated they should be his biggest supporters.

He was about to send Thundercracker to stand out in the corridor with Ramjet when the doors to the mess opened. He didn't bother to sit up until the owners of the hulking frames stepping inside scanned the room and settled their determined gazes on him.

He looked up properly. Long Haul and Mixmaster.

Megatron's threat of having him subjected to spark scans resurfaced with a flash. Instinctively he grabbed Skywarp, who choked on the energon goodie he'd been sneaking into his intake when no one was looking.

"Take me back to the lab."

"Hnng?" Skywarp said through his mouthful. Unaware of the Constructicons coming up from behind to kidnap his trine-leader.

"I feel _unwell_." Starscream snarled. "Take me. To. My. Lab."

Skywarp managed to swallow and wiped his mouth with the back of his servo, which he then used to take Starscream's wrist. Starscream didn't have time to recoil in disgust before the world flooded with purple and the next moment he was upright and wobbling in his laboratory.

"Maybe you should go to the medics?" Skywarp frowned.

That was the last place Starscream wanted to go now.

"Just- not yet," he dismissed, rushing to his desk and hurrying through his work. He needed something to fool the scanner. Fool Hook. Anything.

"I can take-"

"Not now, Skywarp!" He snarled, pulling out a draw and upending it over his desk.

"Jeez," Skywarp snorted, "and I thought you were cranky before-"

He stopped when the door to the lab opened. Scrapper and Bonecrusher came lumbering in. It appeared Megatron had sent the Constructicons out in force today. Starscream ducked under the table with an arm full of equipment, just to buy a second or so longer.

"Starscream," Scrapper called out to him, "C'mon. It's just a little scan. Hook ain't gonna hurt ya-"

"He's hiding under the table." Starscream heard his disrespectful nuisance of a trine-mate throw him under the hyper-bus.

With a prayer to Primus that he could make it work, Starscream stuffed a electric lock picker into his subspace, just it time for Bonecrusher to drop down into a crouch in front of his desk.

"Oh, hello," Starscream forced a smile.

Bonecrusher didn't look amused.

 

* * *

 

Megatron must have told the Constructicons of his unwillingness to go through with this, as he wasn't permitted to walk to the med bay under his own power. Held between the two towering mechs, his thruster's barely skimmed the floor as they walked.

Ordinarily, he'd knock the two scrapheaps on their afts for such an affront to his dignity. But he had to at least _pretend_ to be delicate, so he let it lie. In return, they weren't as rough as they could have been. But that may have had something to do with his alleged relationship with their fearsome leader, and the sparkling they supposedly shared.

"Finally, Starscream," Hook rolled up with a plethora of interesting looking medical equipment. "Make yourself comfortable. Megatron wants this done 'by any means necessary', but I don't want to have to use the restraints."

"Of course he does," Starscream muttered, obediently climbing onto the berth.

The examination light switched on and swung over head. Starscream sheilded his optics against the blinding brightness. Hook appeared above and blocked it, energon reading scanner in servo. He flicked it on.

"It's quicker if you open up." Hook explained.

Starscream kept himself stubbornly sealed, knowing there'd be no new-spark to speak of if he did that.

"Not with you and your morons-in-training staring at me," he snapped, folding his arms over his cockpit. "What is this, your prime time entertainment."

Hook glanced at his gathered brothers. "They're just excited..."

"Well they're not _exciting_ themselves anymore by leering at me." Starscream huffed.

"Alright," Hook conceded, lowering the scanner, "You'll need to lie still."

The scanner was powerful enough to see through layers of armour anyway. Hook ran the device across his chest, and it's blue glow warmed the armour it passed over. It pinged when it finished, and Hook began altering the settings on the handheld screen, peeling back layer after 3D layer of the scanned armour to get an unobstructed picture of the spark chamber.

The rest of the team all gathered around eagerly to get their first glimpse of the new-spark. Starscream knew he had seconds. He needed to move now.

A master of stealth he was, he slipped the electric lock pick out of his subspace, flicked it to full charge and jammed it with gusto into the nearest, most expensive looking piece of equipment within arms reach.

The result was instant. There was a bang as the machine overloaded, sparks flying, thick black smoke spewing everywhere. Starscream screamed for effect, and shocked, Hook dropped the scanner. The medics rushed for the machine. Scrapper quickly pulled Starscream out of the way for fear of somehow risking the new-spark.

Another bang sounded as an electrical fuse overloaded. The lights flickered. And mechs began yelling at each other in panic.

Therefore Starscream had plenty of time to pick up the scanner Scrapper had conveniently moved him next to. Fingers flying over the controls he deleted his scan, jumped back several vorns to when Soundwave had last been carrying, and selected a scan early enough that the unsparked cassette, Ratbat, would have been impossible to distinguish from a unsparked seekerlet.

He then dropped it back to where he found it and leant back to watch the panic as the machinery continued to fry.

 

* * *

 

"It's too early to tell the frame type, sir," Hook explained to a dumbfounded Megatron, giving him a copy of the scan he had taken of Starscream's spark chamber.

He stared at it. There, without doubt, was a new-spark.

"You took this yourself?" He confirmed.

Hook nodded. And next to him, still on the slightly scorched examination berth, Starscream couldn't have looked any more smug.

Megatron wanted to ask _how_ , but he refused to let Starscream think for even a moment that he might have been impressed with the underhandedness. Very clever. Very troublesome.

"Hmm," he said, lieu of anything more damning.

Had Hook noticed any lack of enthusiasm of their parts, he didn't comment on it. Likely putting it down to the nervousness all new parents experienced. But the air turned thick with awkward tension as he watched the supposed couple.

"Leave us." Megatron finally ordered, when the ability to keep calm with Starscream smirking at him like that became almost impossible.

"Problem?" Starscream teased when the medic left.

Had Megatron been a mech of less honour, he would have dragged the brat closer, forced his chest open, and paraded his lying, deceitful spark around the base for the whole faction to see.

"How did you do it?"

"Trade secret." Starscream flattened his servos to his turbines. "I have plenty of them."

Megatron felt his processor throb with the swell of mounting frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose to alleviate the pressure, offlining his optics to give himself a moment.

"Let's hope that's true." He said, "because you'll be in need of them."

The smile fell off Starscream's face, "It's not hard to fool these idiots."

"Undeniably," Megatron agreed, holding the scan up to his face, and then at arms length when he recognised it. "But! You will come to a point where you won't be able to pass off Soundwave's scans as your own."

Starscream paled. "You recognised-?"

"Good luck getting past the second trimester with an empty gestation chamber." Megatron said, standing.

Starscream pointed to the scan. "Where are you going with that?"

"As the proud sire I'm well within my rights keeping it. I'm sure the crew will want a glimpse of their leader to be."

Starscream watched him leave, the colour back on his face where his cheeks had flushed.

" _I'm_ the leader to be." He corrected snidely.

"Perhaps," Megatron shrugged, "If you were actually a mate worthy of carrying my heir that would be true?"

 

* * *

 

Starscream spread out the hard copy sheets of Megatron's long _long_ cybergenetic coding, squinting at everything that made Megatron, _Megatron_. They weren't the same frame-type. There was a risk of incompatibility.

But he could worry about that later.

He had some -admittedly limited- experience in this sort of code tampering. He'd minored in Non-Sentient Species Splicing at the academy, before the bores on the education board had banned the practical experiments made it all strictly hypothetical. He also had some -admittedly, more than he should have- experience in cloning, before and after that too had been outlawed by the city state.

Creating a clone of Megatron was easier, but could only been done in laboratory conditions, in an artificial gestation chamber. Which defeated the point of pretending to be carrying, not to mention, if he suddenly appeared on the bridge one morning with a small, but exact replica of Megatron, it would raise some suspicions that their shared offspring hadn't inherited any of it's carrier's superior Vosian coding.

So, code splicing it was.

The Constructicons had been too busy clearing up the mess he'd made of their medbay to notice his later return. He headed to the heated storage chamber, where Hook kept microscopic samples of the crew's innermost energon. He flicked through the vials until he came across Megatron's.

"Hello there," He held it up to the light and checked it's colour, giving it a little flick to stir it up. It glowed bright and healthy. Perfect.

The innermost energon couldn't be kept out of optimum conditions for long, so he rushed back to his lab, trying to keep the devious grin off his face.

Scrambling through his notes and theories, he kept one optic on his measurements as he opened the armour around his spark chamber. Decanting his own innermost energon was a fiddly job when he wasn't watching what he was doing for all his rushing. The fear of getting caught doing this was real, and if it worked, he'd need to keep himself in perfect, spark-bearing conditions so not to lose it again.

His own energon removed he measured out equal amounts of both his and Megatron's into another vial along with an especially potent mix of his experimental binding solution. He shook it up, picked up his syringe and measured it out again.

"This'll show Megatron who's _worthy_ ," he smirked, holding up the syringe, watching the two variants of bright innermost energon swirl and curl around each other, before bringing it to his spark chamber.

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

That he felt so unwell could only mean one of two things.

One; he'd botched his experiment, poisoned his own spark, and was going to die a hideous death.

Or two; his experiment had worked. He had successfully performed the first artificial conception in the history of his kind, and he'd been stupid enough to do it to himself with Megatron's coding because apparently, he just couldn't let things go.

"What have I done," he whispered to the floor, dismissing his processor's suggestion he purge.

He'd woken that morning with an aching everything and a spark in painful fluctuation, like someone had thrown their loose change into his chamber and set it to 'spin cycle.'

' _Purge fuel tanks?_ ' his processor suggested again. And again he dismissed it, servos dragging down his cockpit and worrying over his abdomen. His insides felt constricted, twisting and contracting bizarrely. It wasn't like there was even anything _in_ his gestation tank to give reason for the sudden rearrangement of his interior hardware.

The ' _purge fuel tanks_ '' message popped up again and this time, it wasn't a suggestion.

 

* * *

 

That Megatron hadn't seen Starscream since the medbay was a cause for concern. The crew were still operating under the assumption that they'd be bonding very soon, and though Starscream being conspicuously absent would let him off the hook, it would also mean Starscream had left _him_ at the altar. And he couldn't abide by that sort of humiliation.

No, if anyone was going to be embarrassed when this bonding fell through in front of everyone, it was going to be the little fiend that had started it all.

After interogating three of the seekers and threatening Skywarp with the brig, he learned where his second had been hiding. After complaining of 'carrying pains' to his loyal little band of gossiping fliers, Starscream had holed himself up in one of the bases disused recreational rooms, abandoned long ago due to flooding.

The information proved correct, and Megatron found him sat of the floor, in a puddle, looking decently miserable. He couldn't tell if that was a sign of defeat at their war of words, or if it was just _Starscream_.

"This is escalating quickly," he said, choosing to loom over the downed seeker.

Starscream looked up, but didn't rise off the floor. Megatron would have been tempted to joke that such an unhealthy atmosphere couldn't be good for 'the sparkling' had he not been so consumed with quiet rage and mounting fear that he still hadn't caught Starscream out on his own lies.

"Scared?" Starscream sneered.

Emotionally masked, Megatron huffed self-importantly. "Hardly. But I am not so cruel that I won't again offer you the opportunity to back down."

"No, _you_ said we were bonding," Starscream leant back against the wall. "So tonight, we're bonding. If you want to call it off, call it off. You can't win this and you know it."

Megatron wasn't about to be swayed by nonsensical threats spouted by lunatics sat in puddles. He snorted. "We both know it won't go so far. You're too much of a coward to bare your spark to me."

"We'll see then, won't we?" Starscream smirked. "And since it's so official, I took the liberty of inviting everyone."

Megatron didn't believe him, "Oh, so everyone can see just how _with spark_ , you are?"

"I've taken care of it," Starscream said confidently, and there was an unhinged quality to his smile. Like he had nothing to lose.

"We'll see." Megatron said darkly, sure that this was just Starscream's attempt at psyching him out.

All he knew was that _he_ wasn't going to be the one fleeing the scene of their bonding like a runaway bride.

 

* * *

 

Starscream had made enough mistakes in life to know what regret felt like. Yet he had never felt it as keenly as he did now, standing on shaking legs, dismissing warning after system warning as they flooded his processor, trying to focus on the fact that he was about to pretend to bond with Megatron- or _really_ bond with Megatron if the old fool was stupid enough.

' _Purge_ '. His system said again, then ' _error_ '.

Ha! Starscream smirked to himself, because his tank couldn't purge when it was empty. He was running on stored energy, and it should be just enough to last him till Megatron finally backed down and admitted defeat.

He was unsure of how much longer he was going to be able to keep standing before that time came though.

"Don't look very excited, Screamer." Skywarp's deep voice rumbled in his audial from over his shoulder.

Oversensitive and hyper-aware since his 'experiment' Starscream swung around and almost punched him in his shock. Skywarp ducked easily, scowling, "Hey!"

"What are you doing back here?" He demanded, servo settling over his chest to soothe an already upset spark. "You should be in there-"

He pointed towards the side entrance to the command centre, where Megatron and every Decepticon curious enough to want to witness this debacle were waiting for him. And there were a lot of them by the sound of it, the constant drone of a gathered crowd was audible even through the blast proof bulkheads.

"Came to get you," Skywarp's annoyed expression smoothed out when he glanced at Starscream's chest, as though silently forgiving of his trine-leader's bad mood because he thought he was carrying. "Megatron seems to think you won't show up. Seems kinda happy about it to, which is weird-"

"Ha!" Starscream laughed, not thinking, "He can dream..."

And then catching sight of Skywarp's face, he wiped his vindictive glee away.

"Er, it's- Never mind that now, I need to go in."

Skywarp reached for his arm, tone low and judgmental, and _suspicious_ , "Starscream-"

Starscream moved out of his reach and shoved through the side doors.

A hush fell over the command centre. A sea of crimson optics lifted and brightened at the sight of him, helms bending towards one another with judgemental whispers. Beyond them all stood Megatron, who'd actually bothered to make himself look presentable for once.

Starscream's fluctuating spark seemed to spin backwards for a brief second as their optics met, before Megatron's expression shifted into scowl.

He suddenly felt twenty times sicker.

His processor was a muddle, and he must have just been standing there doing nothing until Thundercracker's servo appeared on his forearm and steered him forwards, through the crowd, towards Megatron- who was frowning as though trying to decipher what he thought he was up to now.

He shook his helm to clear it, dismissing more error messages of ' _refuel now_ ', ' _maintenance required_ ', and ' _warning_.' Worry must have written itself into every line of his face. Distracted, he didn't even notice how smug Megatron was looking.

In front of him now, the mech he was pretending to bond with bent low, down to his level and close enough to speak without anyone overhearing. His breath was hot and humid and wafted across Starscream's cheek and audial.

"It didn't have to be like this," Megatron rasped darkly, one huge servo reaching up and brushing Starscream's chest in a gesture that would look affectionate to their watching crowd. "I told you to back down..."

The heat from Megatron's frame couldn't have been any more than usual, but it felt engulfing so close. Starscream would have been embarrassed had his cooling fans activated, but they didn't, even though he so desperately needed them. He felt... faint ...

He blinked, swaying, and his optics didn't online again. Servos shot out to catch him but his knees had already buckled. He heard a slam, a collective gasp, Megatron swearing colourfully.

"Ungh," he said, because he was _fine_. He would get up. Just a moments rest. That was all he needed.

Just a moment.

 

* * *

 

Megatron might have been impressed with the show had he believed any of it.

Starscream was a better actor than he'd expected. He'd dropped to the floor with a wince-worthy bang, landing on one of his precious wings. He didn't stir, not even when Mixmaster slung him over one of his shoulders like a sack of spare parts.

Megatron strode after the rushing medics and tried to keep the indifference from his expression.

"-the new-spark!" Hook sent equipment flying as he hurried to clear an area for the 'unconscious' seeker. "Quickly."

Megatron wondered if the fear he emitted was for the safety of the supposed new-spark or that of himself should anything happen to it. He found an unused piece of equipment and decided to take a seat, watching medics gather around Starscream and hook him up, scan him, remove pieces of his armour.

Well, he thought, craning his neck to see, surely Hook would figure out he wasn't carrying by now-

"Quickly. He's on the verge of extinguishing-" Hook snapped at someone, and Megatron's interest rose.

Starscream was on the verge of extinguishing? Was the little fool faking his own death to get out of this?

"What's going on?" He asked.

He was ignored in their haste. He scowled, raising his voice to be heard over their clatter, "What is going on!?"

"Lord Megatron, please," one of the medics glanced over distractedly. "We need to stabilise them."

Them? _Them?!_

"What the devil-" he murmured, moving closer. Fearful now as he caught sight of Starscream on the work station, his cockpit removed and chest cracked open. The light from his spark illuminated the faces of the medics working on him.

The light from his spark, and another's.

Something broke inside his processor, a fuse blowing out. His ability to think just stopping. There might as well have been smoke pouring out of his audials as he just stared. "Impossible..."

"Sir," servos bigger than his own were nudging him back, almost pleading with him to move away.

Like an empty, emotionless shell, Megatron let them steer him back into a seat they'd found. Someone said something reassuring, about Hook knowing what he was doing, and the new-spark being strong. He didn't acknowledge it, processor still stuck on the impossible.

There was a new-spark in Starscream's chest...

* * *

 

Starscream was surprised not to be dead when he woke up.

He rolled his helm to the side and found a tube feeding into the fuel line of his neck, re-energising his frame with pure energon. He still ached, but the impending sense of doom had lessened. He wasn't assaulted by quite so many error messages upon waking this time.

His spark chamber still felt like a maraca though.

He felt cold too. Like he was being aired out. A tiny lift of his helm confirmed that was because his armour had been removed right down to the waist, scandalously exposing his entire spark chamber.

So much for his dignity, he thought resentfully, looking around for something to cover himself with.

He never got around to finding a blanket. His gaze locked onto a dark figure at the end of his berth, bent over with servos clasped and helm bowed, sat in vigil.

He recognised Megatron instantly and quickly pretended to be offline again.

"I know you're awake, seeker."

Ah, scraplet's aft.

Starscream lit his optics one at a time, wincing. Megatron was glowering across at him with an expression darker than the pits of Cybertron.

"What did you do to me?" Starscream huffed, deciding not to fear for his life if he was in the middle of repairs. Megatron wouldn't bother wasting the resources otherwise. He struggled to recall what had led to _this_ though. He couldn't remember a fight. 

"What did _I_ do?" Megatron said quietly. Too quietly for how dangerous he looked. Slowly he rose from his seat, his shadow stretching across Starscream and his exposed spark-

"You have the _audacity_ to ask _me_ what _I_ did-"

Starscream shrank back, fearful once again. More so with his spark chamber exposed. He lifted his servos to it in case he needed to block a fusion blast- when something about it felt odd.

He glanced down. Two sparks.

Oh. So it _had_ worked...

"What in the blazes is _that!_ " Megatron thundered pointing, and ah, yes, that must have been why he was so angry. "So help me, Starscream, that had better be some clever trick with mirrors, or I'm going to..."

Starscream wished he could run but he was still attached to half the equipment in the medbay. He just looked up at Megatron blankly, wondering if it would be better if he acted defiant or allowed his own regret to surface.

"It's not mine." Megatron said quietly, taking his silence for what it is. "And I pity whatever moron you plied into this game. For whatever reason you've decided to make yourself with spark, when your bastard spawn emerges it won't share _my_ coding-"

Starscream made an aborted noise to protest that assumption.

"Starscream." Megatron's denta clenched together. His olfactory flaring as he breathed harshly. His digits griped the edge of the berth railing and metal groaned as it dented. "Tell me. Tell me it's not mine-"

Starscream cringed, wondering how he was going to explain this, "Well, it's not _not_ yours-"

Air hissed out of Megatron's vents as he exhaled in disbelief. "It's not- _not- **what?!**_ "

Death imminent, it was likely Starscream owed his very life -and that of his new-spark- to Hook who chose that exact moment to enter into the room.

He paused, sensing tension.

"Sir?"

Starscream expected Megatron to take a breath, stow his temper, and play along until he could regroup as he had done many times before in their game. What he didn't expect was for Megatron to- well-

"Enough!" He bellowed, "This goes no further, Starscream!"

"Please, Lord Megatron," Hook interjected bravely, "Raising your voice around the new-spark-"

"To Pit with the new-spark!" Megatron thundered, throwing his arms up. Hook's optics flared pink with horror. "He is _not_ my mate. That is _not_ my sparkling."

Hook stared, and Starscream said nothing, not wanting to draw Megatron's ire anymore than he already had. Yes, he'd definitely taken this too far.

"Sir," Hook sounded oddly stern though. He flicked his datapad online. "I understand relationships of this sort can at times... waver, but whatever disagreement you and the Commander have had that _is_ your sparkling-"

"Impossible-" Megatron tried to argue.

"-here in the coding sample we took-"

"It's a fake!" Megatron yelled over him.

"-taken directly from Commander Starscream's spark chamber, impossible to falsify-"

"You're wrong!" Megatron hissed.

That was the limit for Hook it seemed. In rare defiance he raised his own voice, expression thunderous, "I'm never _wrong_ , sir."

"You are this time." Megatron growled. "It's a farce. This whole ridiculous debacle has been a farce and I have had _enough_. Starscream and I have never -"

"Well you must have at least once because _here_ ," Starscream watched Hook extend the datapad towards Megatron firmly. "And I urge you to move past whatever falling out you've had for the sake of the new-spark. In it's neglected state we almost lost it-"

"I'm not surprised, given what poisonous frame it's incubating in." Megatron snapped, tossing the datapad at the berth without bothering to look. It landed by Starscream's pede.

Still watching Megatron lose an argument to _Hook_ of all mechs, Starscream stretched a servo down to reach for it, curious to see the results for himself.

"Commander Starscream collapsed due to low energy levels. He needs to fuel more," Hook glanced towards him, optics narrowed. "And the situation wasn't helped by the state of his gestation chamber. It's empty. Without raw materials from the sire his frame will attempt to canabalise itself-"

Ah yes, that had been the next problem Starscream had intended to solve. He had made the new-spark but not the frame it would need to descend into. Again, that's where the 'sire' came in.

"So he nearly killed himself," Megatron growled, dark gaze finding him again. "Typically irresponsible-"

" _You're_ the one not providing me with any _raw materials_ ," Starscream said pointedly, feeling braver now that against all odds Hook appeared to be on his side. "If you weren't so stubborn-

"I know what you're doing!" Megatron barked, "You're twisting this!"

"There are, of course, other methods." Hook said gently, as if trying to encourage Megatron down from his loud volume. "Until you pass through this rough patch-"

"This isn't a rough patch. Do you not _hear what I am saying?!_ " Megatron snarled, and Starscream really thought he was going to blow a gasket if Hook didn't start believing him soon. "He is not my mate."

"Fine," Hook agreed insincerely, a judgmental frown on his face. "But that is your new-spark, and unless you take the proper steps, it will extinguish and likely take Commander Starscream with it."

Starscream wouldn't at all have been surprised to hear Megatron yell something like, 'good riddance' or ' I can only hope' but he didn't. With one last furious glower at Hook, and then at Starscream, he snatched the datapad with the results back out of Starscream's servos and barged out of the med bay.

They could hear him yelling at innocent mechs all the way down the corridor.

"Well," Hook sighed once Megatron was too far away to hear. "You'll be pleased to know we've stablished both sparks in the mean time."

"Oh goody," Starscream tried to seem enthusiastic.

"Not to worry," Hook smiled, and he'd never smiled at Starscream before so that was disorienting. "Many struggle with the impending responsibilities of having a sparkling. Lord Megatron's siring protocols should take care of his... reluctance soon enough."

Siring protocols. Wonderful. Somehow Starscream wasn't particularly reassured at the thought of such a furious Megatron becoming subconsciously compelled to start shoving his spike in him. Not at all.

"I can't wait." He grimaced.

 

* * *

 

Megatron had never experienced such open hostility from his own mechs.

The cause, it seemed, and was yet another rumour.

The -very justified- fuss he'd caused in the medical bay with Starscream was already all over the ship. Hook's doing likely. And rather than it being the news that his and Starscream's entire relationship had been a lie, as he'd said, _several times_ , Hook had instead chosen to spread his own version of the story.

That he was sparklessly abandoning his expectant mate and unborn sparkling, risking the latter to extinguish. No matter how loyal his mechs were to him over Starscream, the thought of an innocent sparkling suffering simply overruled all common sense.

It wasn't even _his_ for spark's sake.

He passed a gaggle of seekers outside the armoury. They'd been talking together in a large circle, all frowns and folded arms and general disapproval. Rather than ducking their helms or saluting in respect as they usually would have, six pairs of optics turned on him and glared.

" _Here he comes now_ -" Megatron heard one whisper as he changed course and moved towards them.

"Sir." One of them said, voice dripping with distain. Almost like another Starscream.

"Where is your air commander?" He boomed, hoping to frighten the sneers from their faces.

Some of them shrugged. One of them at least, had the respect to answer, "We don't know, _sir_."

"Then find out." He snapped, glowering over all of them, trying to remember faces. "And adjust your attitudes before I do it for you."

He left them looking fairly unreprimanded and defiant still.

Denta gritting, he opened his comm and hailed Soundwave. "Where is that Primus-forsakened devil?"

"Medical Bay four." Soundwave intoned shortly, aware enough of Megatron's feelings regarding Starscream to know who he was referring to without having to ask.

Starscream was still cowering behind Hook's armour then. Good luck to him. Mood thunderous, Megatron doubted the whole construction crew could protect Starscream from his wrath.

 

* * *

 

Things had swung in a surprising direction for Starscream. Sympathy had doubled since Megatron's apparent breakdown, and despite his reputation as a notorious liar, it was _Megatron_ no one believed.

He should have been pleased. Why wasn't he pleased?

Miserable, uncomfortable, suffering the fussing of medics and mechs that really had better things to be doing, he spent most of the next day feeling melancholy and staring at the wall, thinking of the new-spark- thinking of Megatron- momentarily forgetting not to feel upset about being abandoned because Megatron had never been his in the first place-

He was really overthinking things.

"Commander," one of the medics tapped on the open doorframe. "You have visitors."

Starscream sat up, then wondered why the Pit he felt so disappointed when Thundercracker and Skywarp came in, and not a furious Megatron.

"How's it going?" Skywarp greeted him mildly, smile pinched like he knew some secret but was so utterly desperate to shout it out.

"Feel better?" Thundercracker asked too, more subdued, but looking much the same in terms of smugness.

"...What do you two want?" He grumbled, "Can't you see I'm suffering spark-break here?"

"Yeah, about that-" Skywarp perched himself on the end of his berth.

"We know you've been hiding something from us." Thundercracker lifted his helm self importantly. "It took us a while, but we figured it out-"

Starscream was surprised to feel... Relief? Like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He'd been playing this stupid game for so long now, and the thought of having someone, his trine -who were idiots but trustworthy at least- with some understanding of the situation he'd created for himself-

"That you cheated on Megatron!" Skywarp announced, pointing victoriously. Which was the opposite of the truth.

"You're carrying someone else's sparkling." Thundercracker continued. Again, completely wrong.

"And he found out. And that's why he's left you!"

Starscream looked between his useless trine despairingly as they waited for him to open his arms and acknowledge how right they were.

"The sparkling _is_ Megatron's." He said tonelessly. "You can check the results."

His trine shared a look, confused. "But we were sure you were-"

"Well I have been lying." Starscream admitted, because he needed to tell someone, "And I... I _might_ made a mistake."

Thundercracker and Skywarp folded in, settling themselves on the berth either side of him, "What? What did you do?"

He looked between them, seeing that same eager for gossip expression all the seekers wore when they listened to him these days, but unlike with the rest, there was an undercurrent of concern there too.

It wasn't until he told them the entire story, that he realised how ridiculous everything had been.

"Wow, Screamer." Skywarp drawled, oddly impressed. "That's pretty dumb."

And if Skywarp was calling something dumb, you could rest assured it'd been fairly idiotic.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Megatron was furious at Starscream for a hundred different reasons, but it was fundamentally obvious to him that no amount of anger, denial, or common sense was going to get him out of this now. Nor was it going to prevent something untoward happening to the new-spark Starscream had selfishly spawned for his own amusement.

He'd happily let Starscream suffer, but he was a mech of honour, and the innocent life he carried had done nothing to deserve his ire.

And it was, according to the _five_ additional tests he'd ordered Hook to run, his. Somehow.

He'd get to the bottom of _that_ later.

For now, he simply had to accept that Starscream had managed to box him in tighter than a combiner in an escape pod, and do his duty.

"What would you have me do?" He showed up in Hook's office once he'd punched a sufficient amount of walls to calm himself down to be civil.

The medic arched a brow at him, and Megatron got the distinct impression Hook was being condescending when he said, "Have you made amends with Commander Starscream?"

"No." Megatron snarled through gritted denta, resisting the urge to throw himself into another rant. It would do little to help his already tattered reputation. He'd been called a lot of deplorable things in his lifetime, but 'deadbeat dad' had been a first.

"Creating a new-spark is a considerable commitment to enter into with someone." Hook began, much like reproachful caregiver reprimanding a reckless youngling. "For both parties. The carrier may incubate the spark and build the frame, but the codesharer- _you_ , sir- will have to continue providing support in it's construction until it emerges-"

" _Support_." Megatron snorted, armour crawling. "You mean transfluid."

"Raw materials," Hook interjected stuffily, as though transfluid suddenly wasn't transfluid if it was being used for it's legitimate purpose. "Starscream is at risk of suffering the ill affects of the new-spark's malnutrition. Without materials to build the frame-"

"I know, I know." Megatron snapped, waving a servo. Like he didn't know how standard reproduction worked. "You want me to interface with the little fiend."

"As I said before-" Hook opened a draw of his desk and pulled out a sample pot. "-there are alternatives."

Megatron eyed the pot, "What do you expect me to do with that?"

Hook's optics brightened with rare amusement, "Why, fill it up, of course."

 

* * *

 

After suffering over four hours worth of lecture-ranting courtesy of Thundercracker, Starscream had been dozing, recharge aided enough by some of the sensory blockers the medics had given him that the ache of his chambers didn't bother him so much.

Hook had said the risk was growing, but not immediate. That didn't stop him from having visions of his own frame folding in on itself, his armour being eaten away by the incorrigible hunger of Megatron's giant mutant new-spark.

He kept thinking of the thing bursting out of his chest, starving and deformed from lovelessness- like a monster out of one of the squishy-made space horrors he'd caught Skywarp watching.

His latest nightmarish daydreams were cut short when one of the motion sensing lights came on outside in the corridor. It was too early for the assistant medics to be doing their morning rounds, and Thundercracker had thoroughly worn himself out shouting earlier, so he wasn't all too surprised when Megatron's dark frame came around the corner.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." Starscream muttered, glaring at him from where he was pretty much stuck to the berth. "Here to finally end this?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you," Megatron huffed, not anywhere near as angry as he had been the last time Starscream had seen him. Siring protocols perhaps? Some dormant protectiveness overriding his sensible fury?

"No, I brought you something." Megatron came to the edge of the berth and extended it.

Starscream took it, surprised to find it was warm. It was a medical sample container. He turned it in his servo, frowning, "What is-"

The light caught it and he saw the swirling luminous quality to the vibrant fluid inside. It was thick. Viscous. _Alive_.

Definitely, one hundred percent transfluid. And it was still _warm_.

He nearly dropped it in his shock, but that would have been worse, the lid un popping and-

"Yuck!" He blanched with revulsion, holding it with just his thumb and forefinger as far from himself as possible.

He tried not to think of the bizarre and somewhat gross serious of events that would have led to how this came to be in his servo. Of _Megatron_ self-serving into _pot_ -

"You're welcome." Megatron growled, looking particularly unhappy with what he'd just had to do.

"What am I supposed to do with this?!" Starscream snarled, even though he knew _exactly_ what he had to do. His empty tank cramped, as though it knew how close it was to getting the relief it needed.

"Hook mentioned syringing it into you," Megatron lifted a shoulder in a half shrug, looking a lot calmer now that Starscream was the one freaking out. "Unless you'd rather do it yourself. Regardless, for the sake of your new-spark-"

"Our," Starscream corrected, just to annoy him.

"Do not. Test. Me." Megatron snarled through gritted teeth. "You're going to have to rely on my _charity_ -" he pointed to the still warm -gross- transfluid, "-for the foreseeable future. Don't you rather think now would be a good time to acknowledge you were bettered?"

Starscream set the transfluid to one side, giving Megatron a pointed look, because yes he was carrying a mutant new-spark and he was stuck in the medbay with potentially life threatening complications, but at least his reputation hadn't be dragged through the slag like Megatron's.

"They're planning to strike, you know."

Megatron's expression shifted, surprised. "Who are? What?"

"My airforce." Starscream put emphasise of the possessiveness, because it felt good to have loyal seekers- even if their loyalty was more a result of malfunctioning caregiver protocols than genuine respect. "They're rather displeased with you for putting me and our 'precious sparkling' through this. But if you want to say you won..."

"We'll see about that," Megatron snorted angrily, already marching towards the door.

Now alone, Starscream glanced at the sample pot besides him and groaned in quiet disgust.

 

* * *

 

Hook appeared sometime later and was pleased to hear Megatron was cooperating. Starscream wondered if it would in any way repair his reputation.

Of course, by that time the unpleasantly _warm_ transfluid had gone even more unpleasantly _cold_. Getting it into him wasn't a particularly invasive procedure, it involved the syringe Megatron had mentioned and allowing Hook distastefully close to his intimate array, but the act itself lasted little more than a few seconds.

The sensation of cool fluid flowing up his valve into his gestation chamber lasted a lot longer though. He didn't know how much of it was just a psychological response to such a clinical method of providing sustenance to his new-spark, when usually it would involve heated frames and pleasure- but the thought of his internals being flooding with someone else's nanites was somehow more disgusting when it wasn't coming straight from the source.

Not that he wanted _that_ from Megatron. Not at all.

"I'll do this myself in future," he announced to Hook, deciding that having a clinical medics touch only made it worse.

"At least every forty eight hours." Hook informed him, patting his knee like he was some common front-liner coming in for standard repairs and not an expectant seeker sprawled with  _everything_ on display. "Stay down a while longer. Just to ensure your valve doesn't retrograde any of it."

At least once every two days for the next Earth year, Starscream realised. He couldn't do it.

He'd need to come up with some alternative. He'd built the new-spark itself from scratch, so he was sure he could figure out a mixture to work as a compatible alternative to Megatron's... _essence_ too.

* * *

 

Now released from the medbay -and admittedly feeling much better- Starscream headed straight for the lab. Though he had to field an entire bases' worth of over-interested mechs to get there. His loyal seekers all stopping him to tell of how ready they were to begin an all out mutiny against Megatron should he give the word. Nice to see Thundercracker and Skywarp had kept their mouths shut. 

That was the sort of loyalty he had been looking for when he'd started this entire fiasco. He would have loved to take them up on their offer, but he had more pressing matters to attend to now.   
  
Finally in his lab, he cracked his knuckles and got to work. The usually solitary work was less lonely with his rejuvenated new-spark buzzing around his chamber. Logically he knew it wasn't yet capable of thought, or even basic emotions, but it felt... happy? Content with him at least.

Or perhaps those were his own treacherous emotions.

He shut down any attempts at those pesky carrier protocols coming online and distracting him. The last thing he needed was to start fawning over the unborn mutation that was causing him so many problems.

Transfluid couldn't possibly harder to replicate than singlehandedly creating a new-spark, so he expected to be finished before the end of the cycle.

Over fifty sentio metallico mixtures and an emotional breakdown down later, Starscream had failed his attempt at creating a compatible mixture. His gestation chamber was too clever to trick. It knew the difference between the rich wholesomeness of a sire's sustenance and the cold experiments of a mad scientist, and there was nothing Starscream could do to change it.

He stared at the wall despairingly, ignoring the twinge of the curious new-spark fluttering against his own for some time. Until Megatron found him again.

The fluid filled pot was placed on the lab desk in front of him with a pointed thunk. Megatron looked at him wordlessly, then left.

Starscream glared after him, then took it. Still warm.

This time he didn't wait around for it to cool.

It was better, marginally. But still clinical and unpleasant. His frame wanted more. His new-spark wanted more.

* * *

 

That Megatron wanted to be angry at Starscream, but couldn't, was testament to how powerful these arcane protocols were. Had he the time and pettiness, he'd happily have a mnemosurgeon crack his helm open and remove every trace of these siring protocols. He had never wanted to spawn young anyway, that wasn't the legacy he had been destined to create.

And yet, he had one on the way regardless. It would be small, and pathetic likely- thanks to Starscream- but it would still somehow be his.

However Starscream had done it, his own spark recognised that there was an extension of himself living inside the treacherous seeker, and he had to ensure it's survival.

That didn't mean he had to be nice to Starscream.

He entered into his quarters after a long exhausting cycle of trying to wrangle the ever mischievous seekers. The only two behaving were, oddly enough, Thundercracker and Skywarp. Perhaps they knew? Or perhaps they were just too familiar with Starscream's treasonous disposition to have ever really believed him in the first place.

He was only mildly surprised to find the cause of his suffering itself inside his quarters. Starscream was sat in an armchair beside a viewport, looking out through it. Underwater there was little to see beside darkness and occasional flash of the base's security lights.

"How did you get in?"

Starscream shifted to make himself comfortable, one leg swinging over the arm rest. "We're engaged to be bonded remember. Soundwave let me in."

Megatron was fairly confident that Soundwave knew perfectly well they weren't mates and would have no reason to want to play along with Starscream's games. Megatron wondered what he was playing at.

"I think you know why I'm here." Starscream said casually, studying his claws as though he was waiting for Megatron to do something as normal as sign off on requests for him.

"Right." Megatron grumbled, moving past him and the berth and heading to his private washroom. "One moment."

Starscream shrugged, content to wait.

Inside the shower, Megatron leant his back against the wall, unsubspacing one of the sample pots.

This usually didn't take long, but knowing Starscream was right outside the door added an element of discomfort to it. He couldn't help but think the little brat would be timing him...

He thought of nondescriptly attractive things. Long legs and a trim waist. Flexibility. Strength. Speed. A worthy opponent he could bend to his will-

Finished, he snapped the lid on, made himself presentable, and stepped back into the room.

Starscream was still waiting, looking out the view port, bored. Megatron cleared his vocaliser to draw his attention, extending the fluid.

Starscream looked at him, then blinked at the transfluid. "What- _that's_ what you were doing in there?!"

Megatron veered back, equally annoyed, "What else would I have been doing?"

"It's a washroom! Washing! Not-" Starscream cut off with a frustrated wave of his servos. "That's not what I came for-"

"Then what else would you-"

"No, I mean," Starscream looked flustered, "It is what I- I just don't-"

"Spit it out, seeker!" Megatron snapped, tired of listening to Starscream stumble over his words as he stood in the middle of his quarters holding a sample pot of his own fragging fluid.

"I don't _like_ doing this. It's _weird_ ," Starscream hissed, voice dropping conspiratorially. "And unpleasant."

Megatron hardly sympathised. Self serving into a medical sample container every evening was hardly the highlight of his day either. "Shame."

Starscream glared, "Can't we just-" he did something odd with his face. Then something odder with his servos, making some sort of animated phallic gesture. "Do it differently?"

Differently?

"What?"

Starscream clenched his fists in frustration, "Can't we just- _you know_. Do it _the old fashioned way!?"_

The old fashioned-?

"You want to do _what?_ " Megatron stared down at him in disbelief.

"Oh for-" Starscream looked aside and muttered something unsavoury under his breath. "Do I really have to spell it out to you? _F. R. A. G. M_ -"

"I get it!" Megatron snarled, warm all over for an entirely different reason now. "Has that new-spark finally addled what was left of your sanity?"

"So you'd rather keep the company of your servo?"

"I'd rather not have anything to do with _any_ of this, yet here we are-"

"Fine then." Starscream stood to leave. "Give me the sample."

Megatron was drawing it back, away from Starscream before his processor had even made the conscious decision, "Now, let's not be hasty-"

"I knew it," Starscream arched a clever brow. He folded his arms, wings high, "I _knew_ you thought I was attractive."

"Yes," Megatron glowered, "You're marginally more appealing than my own fist and a glass pot. Congratulations."

The sample pot he was holding was smacked out of his servo by the scowling seeker. Megatron heard it smash on the floor somewhere to his right. He scowled.

"That's going to be difficult mess to explain." He growled, not bothering to look at the puddle of fluid and glass splinters.

Unrepentant, Starscream shrugged. "Looks like we're going to have to do plan b after all."

Megatron tried to arrange his expression into something resembling annoyance. But his siring protocols were lingering, ready, and Starscream fluttered his wings.

He always had liked wings...

 

* * *

 

"Remind me again how this is 'less weird'?" He asked, aroused despite himself.

Starscream was on all floors on his berth, knees shifting apart to expose more of the prim valve between his pearly white thighs. It was a rather pleasant view, dark mesh flickering with crimson biolights; and that Megatron didn't have to look at Starscream's sneering visage only increased his satisfaction.

"Don't talk." Starscream snapped, as though annoyed at being reminded of who he was doing this with. "You have one job. Do it."

Just the sort of the attitude mechs craved to hear from their berth partners, Megatron thought, rolling his optics. He walked his knees forward, working at his spike to make it hard again. He let it nose at the damp entrance to Starscream's own frame as he stroked it. Starscream's wings shook as he jumped.

"Don't use this as an opportunity to hurt me." He turned his helm to say.

Megatron scowled with indignity at such an insinuation, "What sort of mech do you think I am?"

"I've heard rumours."

"Those were _your_ rumours!" Megatron snarled, surprised to hear his cooling fans snap online. He couldn't tell if it was his irritation aiding to his arousal, or that Starscream was still attempting to bicker with him that was simply riling him up.

"...Eh, maybe," Starscream admitted after a moment of thought.

Megatron placed a servo on his aft. The armour was warm and smooth. He let his palm wander down, squeezing briefly, before brushing his thumb over glistening mesh lips.

"I'm ready." Starscream snapped. "Don't screw around."

"You said not to hurt you." Megatron ignored him and pushed his thumb into Starscream anyway. He was wet. Megatron felt his valve clamp down before releasing and letting him deeper.

"So?" Starscream made a noise of annoyance but didn't turn and slap him around the face. Megatron began moving his thumb in and out.

"I may be too big for you."

Starscream laughed like he'd told the _funniest_ joke. And Megatron remembered the _other_ rumours the pesky seeker had so gleefully spread about the size of his equipment. It was time he put those to rest.

He removed his thumb and replaced it with the blunt head of his spike. The laughter cut off abruptly when Megatron pushed at the resistance until he popped past the tight rim and into the valve.

"Hnng-"

"Too much?"

Starscream tensed, from pleasure or annoyance, he couldn't tell. Two narrowed optics appeared when his dark helm lifted, "I've- I've had bigger."

Megatron recalled Skyfire and was forced to admit that he probably had.

"Bigger is not always better." He murmured, and pushed himself deeper. Starscream was gloriously compliant. He felt the mesh walls contract around him, before releasing acceptingly, allowing him to sink all the way in, unobstructed.

"Good?" He asked, pulling back and watch with interest as his spike emerged from Starscream, glistening with fluid, valve lips dragging along his shaft beautifully.

"Hmm?" Starscream hummed, sounding very, _very_ satisfied. "I told you- I told you to shut up..."

"Primus forbid you remember it's me," He sank back in, quicker this time. He heard Starscream gasp, his frame jolting again.

"You're such a-"

Megatron seized his hips and started thrusting. A steady metronome rhythm. It seemed enough to silence Starscream, whose servos were fisting tighter and tighter in the berth sheets. He kept it up until Starscream's heavy pants turned to vocal grunts, like he was getting too close to stifle himself.

Megatron stopped.

Starscream whined, long and low, valve fluttering around his spike, desperate for stimulation, "Wha- what are you doing-"

"Were you enjoying that?"

Starscream stayed stubbornly silent. His left wing twitched in irritation. Megatron started again. He built the speed and depth gradually, then slowed it, then built it, and again, slowed it right down. Until Starscream was a shuddering mess on his berth. He'd fallen from his forearms and buried his face in the pillows. Megatron heard a muffled curse as he stopped yet again.

"Why _are you **torturing** me?!_ "

"You said I was _quick_." Megatron reminded him. "That I left you... _unsatisfied_."

Starscream turned his helm out of the pillow. His face was flushed bright with energon, optics hazy with lust.

"Al-alright," he hissed. "Alright I get it. I'll tell them- I'll tell them it's not true."

Megatron ground his spike deeper, brushing against all those sensor nodes that made Starscream's wings lift and flutter. "Don't you think the damage has been done? Why would they believe you?"

Starscream was shacking his helm, "I'll- I'll make them believe-" he gasped. "Oh, please. I swear-"

"See that you do." Megatron began fragging him again, slowly though. He didn't need Starscream finishing before he was done with this. "What else will you tell them?"

Starscream whined.

Megatron thrust sharply, deeply, and a squeak of noise escaped the seeker. "What _else_ , Starscream?"

"What-whatever you want," Starscream sobbed, "Just- please."

Megatron did. Fast. Gripping Starscream hips and pulling him back into him. His vents huffed with exertion as he continued.

"You'll bring your seekers back in line." He growled over the clang of their armour and creak of the berth. "You'll defend me against claims that I attempted to abandon you-"

Starscream was nodding, his forehelm rolling against the pillow. "Whatever you say. Whatever you say-"

"And you'll admit that I won this stupid game." He growled, feeling himself approach climax. "Who won? Who won, Starscream?"

"You-" Starscream choked. "You win. You win you _win_ -"

Starscream was overloading. Megatron could feel it fluttering in waves through Starscream's valve as he fragged him. It grew wetter, hotter, and Megatron held his breath when his own climax blew through him. He felt the pleasure pulse out of him and held deep, knowing this moment was the whole point of it.

He wondered if Starscream could feel it, the flood of fluid coating his insides. If it felt good? The seeker under him mewled, squirming through it, so maybe it did.

He stayed in him for a while, feeling his oversensitive spike begin to depressurise as the last vestiges of charge began to leave their frames.

"Okay..." Starscream finally breathed, helm turning.

Megatron carefully pulled out. Starscream, left splayed and open on his berth, was an unexpectedly beautiful sight. He rolled onto his back when Megatron shifted to the edge of the berth, one servo resting against the armour under his cockpit.

Megatron studied his exhausted frame curiously.

"What does it feel like?" He asked, nodding to his chest.

"Not bad." Starscream shrugged, optics closed, "Better now."

"Hmm." Megatron agreed. He felt a certain... flood of unexpected pride at what they'd done, rather than the shame he'd been anticipating.

"So, no more rumours," Starscream breathed tiredly. "That's no fun."

"Only the unflattering ones," Megatron confirmed. "The rest may take some time to disprove..."

He supposed he could cope with the whole fraction thinking he was fragging Starscream- seeing as he just had. It was more the 'sparkles monster that would have let his own young die' rumours he wanted eradicated first.

"I stole your coding." Starscream said out of the blue, drawing him from his musing.

He looked up, "You stole what?"

"Your coding." Starscream onlined one optic, likely to make sure he wasn't about to be attacked. "To make the new-spark. I didn't- assault you in your recharge, or whatever you think I did to you-"

The thought hadn't even crossed Megatron's mind that that could have been how Starscream did it. But really, this raised more questions than it answered, "How?"

"Wouldn't you like to know." Starscream snickered. Then sobered up again rather quickly. "But just so you're aware... It might be some sort of mutated freak."

"With it having you as a creator, I wouldn't have expected anything less." Megatron said without missing a beat. He slapped Starscream's thigh and stood up. "You have what you came for. Clear off."

"Such a gentlemech," Starscream muttered sarcastically, and rolled off the berth onto his pedes. He wobbled a little, and some subconscious trigger in Megatron processor wanted him to leap across the berth and catch him in case he fell, but Starscream straightened with a huff.

Megatron scowled at the prehistoric line of protective coding. He had to sensibly remind himself that _Starscream did not need protecting._

He saw Starscream pause by the door on his way out, looking hesitant.

"What now?"

Starscream drummed his digits against the doorframe. "...Same time tomorrow?"

"We'll see how well you do correcting those rumours," Megatron decided, though he knew he was probably going to do it anyway.

Starscream looked like he knew that too. He smirked, and flounced off.

The annoying string of coding started nagging at Megatron for letting him go.

* * *

 

  
"Saw you leaving Megatron's quarters late last night."

Starscream opened his optics. He hadn't seen which seeker had spoken, but a fair few were littered about the flight hanger rec with him, watching his doze, like his own little posse of overprotective guardians.

"Hmm." He said noncommittally, thinking back to Megatron's warning. No more rumours.

"So...?" Acidstorm swung his legs over the armrest of his chair, leaning forwards intently. "He took you back?"

Starscream scoffed, "Oh _please_ , I'm the one that-"

"Starscream." Thundercracker interrupted from beside the broken game table. He shook his helm.

One firm _No._

No more rumours.

"It's hardly your business, is it now, Acidstorm," Starscream dismissed snottily, earning a proud nod off Thundercracker.

Unfortunately, his apparent secrecy only made them more eager for news. A few helms lifted. Wings too.

"What happened?" Thrust appeared on the arm rest of his couch.

"Are you still going to bond?" Another random seeker asked.

"Did he apologise?"

"Did he beg?"

Starscream was supposed to dismiss their gossip hungry attempts. Megatron would be furious if he found out he was still indulging in this. Thundercracker's gaze was burning across the room at him.

"Well..." He said, letting a smirk curl his mouth, "He might have had to beg a little-"

Furniture scrapped and they all rushed to surround him, draping themselves over the couch and sitting at his thrusters. Still at the game table, Thundercracker's open palm hit his face with a slap.

Starscream ignored him. It was just _one_ little rumour. Megatron wouldn't mind...

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you expressed an interest in seeing a little more of this story and how their relationship developed, so here ya go. A bonus chapter. ;)

It wasn't until many months down the line that the tide of popularity finally shifted back in Megatron's favour -when Starscream's uselessness reached it's crescendo and all he did was sit around, shout, and complain.

It didn't matter how excited for the arrival of the sparkling the seekers where, everyone had a breaking point. Putting up with a increasingly grumpy Starscream for nearly a year was that limit.

Even more surprising, Megatron was beginning to feel like he was the only mech on base _not_ annoyed with the air commander.

"I told you it was a mutant freak sparkling." Starscream complained, sitting on Megatron's throne- earning it after an infuriatingly long whinge about how he couldn't stay standing and how his thrusters hurt and his back ached and every other piece of hardware on his frame was somehow being inconvenienced by the weight of the new life he carried.

"Hook's team are happy with with both the spark and the frame," Megatron murmured, trying to read something.

"It's too big." Starscream continued. "And did you see the gestation scan? Hideous. No wings."

"Just because it's not a seeker, doesn't mean it's mutated." Megatron said rather smugly. "It means my coding was dominant."

"Exactly. A freak."

Megatron wondered if he was going to be so indulgent with Starscream after he'd had the damn sparkling. How long did these siring protocols last anyway?

"Have you had any thoughts on what you're going to name it?" He asked, hoping to take Starscream's mind off his discomfort.

"Mistake." Starscream mumbled from behind his servos. "Problem. Blunder."

"Starscream-"

" _Oops_ ," Starscream continued, then scratched his chin. "I rather like that one actually..."

"No."

"Shame you don't have a say," Starscream cooed, "Apologies, my lord, but when it comes to naming this little mutant, I outrank you."

Dread crept ever closer as Megatron considered a possible future in which he had to introduce his lone heir with a designation as ridiculous as 'Oops'.

"That is a living-being you're carrying in there," Megatron pointed at him, "and somehow, against all odds, you've managed to keep it alive. Don't you think now should be the time to start taking this seriously?"

Starscream looked like he was considering it.

"No. I think seriousness should be avoided at all costs." He shrugged, and then with a great struggle managed to get himself down off the throne, "Just consider yourself lucky It's not being named after you-"

Megatron was about to contradict that assumption. He'd be greatly honoured to have the sparkling bear his name-

"-or what _I_ call you, at least," Starscream smiled, "Which do you prefer, Scrapheap the Second? Or Rustbucket Jr?"

 

* * *

 

When the emergence finally came -thank Primus- Starscream did a typically Starscream thing, and _hid_. It had taken them three hours to find him.

Megatron wasn't sure if he'd done it out of a stubborn belief that he could deal with the emergence himself in private, or fear. Maybe he'd thought hiding under the desk in his lab away from medics could somehow stop what was happening.

There was shouting, there was cursing, there was _screaming_  through the worst of it, but in the end it was done. Megatron saw Hook's smile, and knew, despite the scene before him that was akin to a war zone, that all was well.

Hook gave the squirming ball of armour a quick boost of power, and optics lit up bright and pink, mouth opening to cry.

The pathetic needy noise should have grated on Megatron's already stained audials, but didn't.

Hook handed the newspark over, and despite it's rocky start in life it had a good sturdy frame, a bright spark, and Starscream's nose.

"You did well, Starscream," Megatron lowered the newspark so he could see better. "He gave you some trouble though, didn't he."

"Trouble." Starscream mumbled, lifting his servo perhaps to touch the newspark, but missing and grabbing Megatron's wrist instead. His grip was weak. "Good enough-."

Megatron took his servo and brought it higher so the sparkling could grab at his creator's digits. "Good enough?"

"Trouble." Starscream elaborated again, letting the newspark squeeze his digit, "His name's Trouble."

Well, Megatron thought, he couldn't argue. It was better than Oops.

 

* * *

 

Starscream's frame was wrecked in the aftermath. His constant complaints about the sparkling being too big had been genuine. The medics had had to take him apart to get it out, and putting him back together again had taken some time.

Megatron felt an uncomfortable tinge of sympathy watching him recharge in the medbay, his usual sneer replaced with a frown of discomfort, even in unconsciousness.

"When can I expect him back on duty?" He asked when Hook came to set up a fresh fuel line. Starscream's optics onlined, then closed again as he drifted in out and out of consciousness.

Hook shook his helm, "Not for a while. Seeker's have compact frames that are notoriously bad at emergences. And your sparkling shares your frame type, making him larger than what Starscream's hardware is designed to cope with."

"Will he be alright?" Megatron asked, wondering if he should be concerned- annoyed that he already was.

"He's just delicate." Hook nodded, and glanced at the slumbering sparkling in Megatron's arms. "I'd advise against confrontation for a while."

"Tell that to _him_." Megatron snorted, and the sparkling jumped awake with a whimper. "He goes out of his way to start arguments-"

What he wanted to complain about next was drowned out by the little one's growing cries. Cries that turned into a spark-wrenching screams, tears dribbling down soft fat cheeks heavily. Megatron stared in considerable alarm.

Starscream stirred with a moan at the noise.

He looked at a Hook for help, "What is it doing?"

"Crying." Hook looked bemused.

"Why?"

"Because you're yelling in his audial?"

Megatron held the sparkling away from himself, but it only wailed louder, vocaliser hoarse with strain.

"He's still making noise."

Hook extended his servos, and Megatron gladly handed the sparkling over. The screams died down as Hook bounced him. He hiccuped and sniffed messily. Suitably soothed, Hook handed him back.

Megatron took his messy sparkling with a less than enthusiastic grimace, "Loud, isn't he?"

"Sparklings do cry, sir." Hook said judgmentally.

"And what am I expected to do with him until Starscream rouses?"

Hook blinked, "Nurture him?"

The word 'Nurture' did not exist in Megatron's vocabulary. Autobot's nurtured. Doting carriers nurtured. The few mechs he had known who were sire's on Cybertron- they were far from 'nurturing'.

And he was- _he_ was expected to do this? Alone?! He knew Starscream had been reading up on files concerning newspark care -at Thundercracker's urging- but he remained woefully ignorant. It wasn't his place anyway? Was it? Sire's didn't-

"You are his sire, Sir." Hook drew him from his existential crisis. "These first hours, days even, are the most crucial for forming a bond."

Megatron peered down at the sparkling. A bond. He and his heir, a united front. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise.

He considered Hook's unconvinced expression and let confidence fill his chest. He would prove the medic wrong. He would prove them _all_ wrong. He would be a sire of such unparalleled skill and authority that when Starscream woke he would be so in awe with his parenting skills he'd let him have another-

Megatron blinked down at Trouble, wondering where that thought had come from. The new-spark half- lit one optic at a time, mouth opening into something like a goofy smile.

Megatron felt his lip curl in response, charmed despite himself.

 

* * *

 

Megatron made of point of not getting too familiar with his crew, but the respect and terror he had previously inspired in the troops became null and void as soon as he was spotted out in the open with Trouble. He may as well have been seen hugging Autobots on the street; his reputation couldn't sink much lower.

News that Starscream had delivered had travelled fast through the base, and though that had been some hours ago, the seekers appeared to have camped out in the corridor outside in their eagerness to see the newest arrival.

Megatron was inundated the second he stepped out with Trouble easily balanced along the length of his forearm and tucked against his chest. The audiences's collective gasps of delight were quickly overshadowed by sharp squalls and snarls as they all jostled for the closest look. Megatron watched as Skywarp caught Dirge by the wing and swung him one hundred and eighty degrees into the bulkhead to get him out of the way.

"It's the tiniest little gun ever!" He exclaimed, perhaps too loudly. Trouble squirmed, optics flickering.

This seemed to melt his warriors, who cupped their servos together and angled their helms and _sighed_. Unfortunately, waking up in the bright corridor surrounded by brighter seekers didn't particularly please Trouble. His vents opened and he began to wail, arms and legs waving weakly.

Megatron scowled.

Around ninety percent of the seekers fled. Megatron didn't know if it had been his expression or Trouble screaming that had chased them away, but he was glad. He tried to bounce the sparkling like Hook had, but Trouble only wailed louder, optics wide and panicked as though he was looking for someone to save him from his predicament.

Megatron's anxiety quickly transmuted into frustration at his own son showing him up.

"Here." Thundercracker, bolder than he would have expected, adjusted his grip on Trouble. Megatron frowned, but didn't fight the gentle servos rearranging Trouble into a more secure position, "Always support the helm..."

Megatron _had_ been supporting the helm, but seeing as Trouble's wails were beginning to subside, he decided to let it lie. He offered Thundercracker a curt nod, keen to make a quick getaway before the sparkling started up again, when the seeker blocked his path.

"Sir, I know it's unorthodox but..." Thundercracker held his arms out pleadingly.

An unacceptable request. His heir wasn't a toy to be juggled between the amused masses like a new novelty. He wouldn't let just any warrior handle _him_ in his altmode, so why should he think of his son any less?

And yet, he was handing the newspark into Thundercracker's warm arms with nary a reproach. "Just this once."

"Hello," Thundercracker was looking at Trouble with a complete and utter adoration that should never exist on any Decepticon's face. A digit brushed a soft cheek, and Megatron felt a flicker of pride as he watched his son calm and accept his new handler with grace. "Hello little one."

"Your air commander saw fit to name him 'Trouble'." Megatron growled.

Skywarp snorted, but slapped a servo to his mouth to muffle it. Thundercracker frowned. "He was probably high on the sensor blockers..."

"It is better than his other suggestions." Megatron corrected, reaching to take Trouble back. His so-called-son had the nerve to whine pathetically when he was taken from Thundercracker. Megatron scowled; no doubt Starscream's defective coding was to blame.

"How is he?"

It took Megatron some time to realise he was asking after Starscream.

"He will be well." He stated, shifting Trouble and watching as his tiny upturned nose scrunched up.

Starscream's nose...

His son wore it well.

 

* * *

 

He didn't have anywhere to put the newspark. Standing in the middle of his quarters with his recharging heir in his arms made him realise just how unprepared for his arrival he truly was. In the end, he resorted to leaving Trouble on his berth. He was tiny in the centre of it.

Seeing as the newspark wasn't doing anything, he might as well occupy himself elsewhere. He took out a datapad and read the first line six times before giving up and moving back to the berth.

Feeling not unlike a fretting carrier he placed a insulation sheet over his son, and then grumbled at himself in annoyance when he felt the irrepressible urge to tuck it around the tiny frame, adjusting it so it was just right.

Trouble remained oblivious to all this, sleeping sounding, the arm he had sticking out from under the covers clenched and unclenched as he breathed. Carefully, Megatron nudged the limb under the sheets. Only for a leg to stick out instead.

Megatron wondered if he was being defiant. Did newspark's have the capacity for defiance? If any did, one that shared Starscream's coding certainly would.

 

* * *

 

Sleeping upright on the floor with his back propped up against the bulkhead left a nasty crick in his neck. He'd only been offline for a few minutes before Trouble had started screaming again.

Blinking exhaustion away, Megatron rose, exhaling heavily at the ball of squirming armour kicking the sheets away.

In his half-awake state he acted on autopilot, letting his siring protocols kick into overdrive at the sound of such distress coming from the sparkling. His spark ached in sympathy as he recovered his young, vocaliser emitting a series of nonsensical vocalisations -some words but mostly cooed gibberish- in hopes of soothing the little one. Despite the affront to his dignity, it didn't work. Neither did bouncing, embracing, stroking, or begging.

Trouble screamed, his tiny face tinged blue, and Megatron held him, longing desperately for Starscream.

 

* * *

 

A few of the mech were awake around the base. Perhaps they had been woken by Trouble's screaming? Megatron ignored their grouchy expressions. He cared little for the ruckus his newspark was causing.

Trouble's hiccuping wails had lost their edge during their brief stroll through the ship, perhaps he liked the change of scene, or the gentle rock of being carried. Megatron let his engine purr and vibrate, and Trouble's sobs tapered off, optics fluttering sleepily.

"Nearly there." Megatron told him, dismissing the curious glances of Scrapper and Mixmaster as he passed and shouldered the door panel to the private room Starscream was residing it.

The overhead lights were off, and Starscream was laying prone on the berth, but he looked better for his repairs already, his armour had been refitted and everything realigned. He looked much like himself once again.

"Are you awake?"

"Of course I'm awake." Starscream said darkly, optics still offline. "How can anyone sleep through that racket."

Rather than asking if he wanted to hold their young, Megatron simply decided that he would. With a servo under Trouble's aft and another wrapped around his middle, Megatron quickly placed him front down on the curve of Starscream's cockpit.

Starscream onlined his optics with a start, peering down his frame and glaring at what he found there. Trouble's noise had subsided into curious whimpers. He was locking between his own reflection in the pristine glass of his creator's cockpit and Megatron. Megatron found himself smiling at the little idiot.

"I don't want him." Starscream said, servos awkwardly aloft, like he wanted to remove his limpet but couldn't bring himself to touch it.

Trouble added to Starscream's obvious unease by beginning to drool.

" _Megatron_."

Greatly amused at his distress, Megatron stood back with folded arms. "He's been crying for you."

"No wonder, with you as a caretaker." Starscream grumbled, but finally mustered the courage to let a servo fall to Trouble's helm. The sparkling hiccuped again, but closed his optics.

"What is he doing?" Starscream asked, sounding stressed.

Megatron tilted his helm to peer at the sparking, "He's fallen back into recharge."

"Good." Starscream huffed, and waved his digits dismissively. "You can take him."

"I planned on leaving him with you for a while," Megatron said, only half-teasing as he turned toward the door.

"No, _no_ -!" Starscream reached out, still prone on the berth and unable to move at the risk of disturbing their sparkling. "Don't leave me with him! I don't know what I'm doing!"

"You read the datafiles." Megatron reminded him, because he hadn't.

Starscream looked guilty. "I mean, of course I read them. Some of them."

Megatron's gaze darkened, "Starscream..."

"You didn't read them either!" He hissed quietly, pointing.

"I was busy."

"So was I!"

"Doing what?" Megatron approached the berth, bracing his arms on either side of it to look over Starscream. Some of his edge was lost with how often he glanced at Trouble's sleeping form clinging to his creator's cockpit, but at least the little one wasn't awake to witness an argument on his very first day online.

"Making the sparkling." Starscream hissed, "Which nearly killed me, by the way."

"And whose fault was that?"

"Yours and your stupid codings fault!"

"You made the choice to create him."

"And _you_ decided to keep him."

"So did you." Megatron reminded him, and felt his whole chest ache at the thought of having not done that.

He glanced down again. Trouble had been conceived in a laboratory and nurtured with dislike. He deserved more. He deserved love. Whether or not he and Starscream could muster any would remain to be seen.

A sky blue digit traced the edge of Trouble's tiny helm. Megatron settled back, watching the harsh lines of Starscream face soften away as he stroked the smooth helm.

"He's not too ugly," he observed. "For a grounder, at least."

"I suppose he has you to thank for that." Megatron muttered sarcastically.

But Starscream smiled, servo settling over Trouble's back with more surety now, as though he was only just coming to terms that this sparkling was his.

"Mine." Starscream proved his assumption, stroking the delicate derma of the newspark's back.

"Ours." Megatron said, just to be annoying.

But Starscream smirked, arched a brow. "Mostly mine."

Megatron snorted. They'd see about that.

 

* * *

 

It took two trial runs before they decided Trouble recharged better with both of them in close proximity. It was Megatron who had decided on that logic, but he consoled himself with how easily Starscream had agreed to relocate himself to his quarters.

He had an extra berth brought in to be courteous. He was under no delusions that their previous intimacy had been a means to an end and that end had come. But Starscream placed Trouble alone in the spare berth, and got into Megatron's instead.

"You're not recharging with him?"

Starscream rolled about in his berth and made a complete mess of it, "And squash him?"

A valid, logical excuse. Starscream laid on the left side of the berth, with considerable space next to him. Megatron felt that was as good as an invitation. He wasn't going to recharge on the floor or stoop to asking Starscream if he could get into his own berth. He just did.

"If he wakes up, you're dealing with it." Starscream grumbled, voice muffled by the pillows and insulation sheets.

"You're closer." Megatron reminded him.

"I got up this morning." Starscream argued. "It's your turn."

"Fine. But if we're taking it in turns, we take it _in turns_. Or I'll leave and recharge in the throne room."

Starscream snickered like he didn't believe him. Megatron craned his neck but couldn't see much more of him than a wing and one leg stuck out from under the sheets.

So _that's_ where Trouble got it from.

 

* * *

 

He'd been asleep some hours when he was nudged awake. His audials didn't register crying, so he nudged back with a grumble of, "He's fine."

"No," breath ghosted the side of his helm, and he became acutely aware of the warmth running up his left side. Starscream was pressed up against him. "It's me."

Fingers tickled the seam of his hip, and as Starscream's husky whisper registered in Megatron's processor, his siring protocols pinged online. He conceded with a grumble, shifting onto his side so he was facing the needy seeker.

Late into the carrying it became not unusual for Starscream to come back for seconds. He never resented it. The hasty roughness that was present during the night's first round wasn't normally for the second. Starscream was always worn out enough to let him take it gentle and slow.

He squinted through the darkness to find Starscream's dim optics and dark outline. He used them as a reference to find Starscream's hip, drawing him closer.

Covers rustled as Starscream kicked them down to their legs. Megatron smelt the rich musk of saline lubricant- could taste it in the air as he inhaled. His servo trailed over Starscream's hip and found the damp source between his thighs. They were pressed tightly together, but quick negotiation had them spreading.

He rumbled his appreciation, pushing forward and letting his codpiece bump, then grind.

" _Gentle_ ," Starscream hissed, still tender and sensitive.

Megatron murmured a sleepy apology and let his codpiece shift apart. His spike rose groggily until Starscream's warm servo found it and tugged it along languidly. Megatron returned the favour, brushing his middle fingers between the folds of a Starscream's valve, pushing against an already swollen node, until breath was hitching against his collar.

Starscream shifted, one leg lifting, and Megatron spread his valve with his two fingers. Starscream guided his spike, re-angling his hips to correct the angle. Megatron felt damp heat and pushed forwards, feeling wet folds part easily for him. Starscream's servo flew to his back, pulling him forward, and he was inside.

"Not too much," Starscream breathed, but encouraged him by rubbing the base of his spinal strut.

Lying on their sides meant it was difficult to thrust anyway. Megatron held him so their frames were flush, and rolled his hips in measured little circles, grinding against shallow nodes. Starscream breathed and nuzzled his neck, vocaliser hoarse as he emitted little murmurs of appreciation.

There was no rush. They took their time. He let his servos sweep over Starscream's wings, taking liberties with touching where he often wouldn't be allowed. Starscream himself was rubbing the back of his neck and groping his aft, shuddering with frequent, but small overloads.

He was overheated and slick with lubricants now, and shallowing rocking just wasn't enough for Megatron's impending overload. He rolled them, just a little, just enough to sink deeper. Starscream stiffened in brief surprise, but angled his leg out further. Megatron grunted, spike sliding through soft clenching wetness, and overloaded.

Starscream stroked his aft and upper thighs as he came, pliant beneath him. He leant in and rubbed their cheeks together, whispering something filthy about how good it felt inside him- his spike or his fluid, Megatron didn't ask. He rumbled a low noise of perverse satisfaction, then pulled out.

He rolled back to his side, and with a shift and a sigh, Starscream's breathing slowed and evened.

Megatron was about to drift off again too, when somewhere across the room whimpers sounded.

The sparkling, he realised, blinking as he rose slowly, limbs heavy from his overload.

He swung his legs to the edge of the berth and was about to stand -when it struck him.

He and Starscream had just interfaced. That wasn't anything new, but... Starscream wasn't carrying anymore. There wasn't an ulterior motive. They hadn't needed to frag. They just... _had_.

A force of habit, perhaps, Megatron thought uncomfortably, rising and moving to Trouble. A continuation of their pesky protocols? Had Starscream simply forgotten? Would he be angry when he realised?

Trouble was oblivious to his dilemma, whimpering at him when he appeared above. "Alright, alright I'm here," he told the agitated bitlet, scooping him up. He bounced him, gently, his arms already becoming used to handling the delicate weight of his heir.

It didn't take him long to soothe him. Trouble had grown used to his voice, his touch, his presence. He clearly recognised a competent parent in his sire, and Megatron couldn't have felt prouder. Starscream hadn't yet once managed to soothe him -and that was in part due to him getting more upset than the newspark when his attempts at comforting only ever backfired.

He lowered Trouble back to the other berth, once again taking care to tuck the sheet around him, and sighing when limbs poked out in protest anyway.

"He's down," he touched Starscream's arm as he got back into the berth next to him.

Starscream hummed sleepily, then all of a sudden the berth sunk as he rolled over. Megatron blinked when he found the sleepy seeker nuzzling up to him, "I saw..."

He swallowed, acutely aware of the helm tucked under his chin, the nose in his throat cables, and the servo rubbing circles over his chest. Was... Starscream cuddling him? Gingerly, he brought a servo up to support Starscream's back.

Starscream trilled happily, squeezing him briefly.

Megatron consulted possible explanations, and could only conceive of one. Creator protocols; turning his ruthless, fickle warrior into a cuddly, affectionate sap. Resigned to it, Megatron gave him a rough scratch between the wings. Starscream pushed into it like a cat wanting to be pet.

"It's still your turn next." Megatron reminded him.

He cringed away when Starscream's lips found his jaw and started to mouth at it with fluttering, ticklish kisses.

"Seduction won't work on me," he growled, summoning his iron will.

A servo cupped his cheek and lingered there. Megatron turned his helm to face Starscream, and had no one else to blame when he was kissed full on the mouth because of it. He didn't bother to resist. Starscream had a pretty mouth and he had often wondered what it would feel like. Good, was the simple answer. A more complicated one would revolve around the way Starscream's lips parted for his own, his easy submission, the noise he made when Megatron gazed his denta over his bottom lip...

He was lost in it until another whimper cut through the relative silence of their kissing.

Megatron didn't even argue. He got up and went to soothe Trouble. He ignored the way Starscream was smirking victoriously, and when the sparkling was finally asleep again, he climbed over Starscream, bit his neck playfully, and asked-

"Another?"

Starscream smiled, and it made the next kiss all the better.

 

 

 


End file.
